(Our lovely theme tune by Gerard Coleman [G.T.X.C Music] plays)
PINE: Welcome one and all to Tales from the Fringes of Reality season 2 pre-season bonus content! Um, I am Pine! I am your narrator, and writer, and person who is going to be leading someone from the cast through to a different reality because that’s how this works.
TAY: Ooo, I wonder who. I wonder whoooo.
PINE: (laughing) Joining me today to get lost in reality is Taylor Michaels! Tay is part of the Fringes ensemble, he’ll be playing a character named Winston who is my favorite little nerd man y’all haven’t met yet. Outside of the Fringes, you can hear him as Chance in Woe.Begone and as Fern Daemon in The Department of Variance of Somewhere, Ohio and probably in other good things that he hasn’t told me about yet. So! Taylor. Welcome.
TAY: Hello hello! Lovely to be here.
PINE: Are you ready to play Pitcrawler?
TAY: I am very ready to play Pitcrawler. I was reading through the, uh, through the guide and this sounds pretty fun so I’m looking forward to it!
PINE: Okay, I’m gonna introduce Pitcrawler real quick because that’s the other thing I had written out beforehand. So Pitcrawler is a game by the wonderful MacGuffin and Company which is composed of the incredible Sasha Sienna and Jonny Sims. The 0.7 edition of Pitcrawler is currently available on their Patreon, patreon.com/macguffinandcompany, and physical copies will enter the world soon after a successful crowdfunding campaign last year
I absolutely adore Pitcrawler and am so excited to get to share it with Tay and with all of y’all who are listening. It’s such a fun time and I hope you enjoy getting a taste of Pitcrawler.
Pitcrawler is a choose your own adventure style game for 2 people. It is a hell of a lot of fun and it’s also a lot of random rolling so we are going to start by rolling Taylor’s character.
TAY: Yay!
PINE: Are you ready?
TAY: I am all set.
PINE: Okay so we are using the quickstart because the full game is not officially out yet. I do have a version from being a patron on their Patreon but it’s easier to use the quickstart. So! We’re gonna start with your background, can you roll–
TAY: (crosstalk) Alright, that one’s the d10?
PINE: Yes! Roll a d10 for me.
TAY: Alrighty, let’s see here. No whammies, no whammies, we have… An 8.
PINE: Okay. Then can you roll me a d12 so we can get your random expertise?
TAY: Sounds good! I’m a miner who…. Is into weaving!
PINE: (Laughing) I love that.
TAY: Yeah!
PINE: You’re mining and you’re weaving and those are perfect. I love this. Okay and then lastly can you roll a d20 for me?
TAY: Will do. My random item is going to be– Oh, it fell off the table. Is going to be… That one landed tilted. Is going to be– An empty bottle! (laughing)
PINE: Okay! That works. I was really really hoping you’d get fish.
TAY: Oh god. Okay, I’m about to ask a really dumb question: what is– what is the di- like what is weaving compared to like sewing? Is weaving when you’re making like a rug or making like– when you’re doing the cross- crossing over with like a loom? Is that weaving?
PINE: Yeah, no, I only know what weaving is because I took an after school art class at school. And we’re going to do all sorts of nonsense. Like weaving.
TAY: I have definitely never had to weave (laughing)
PINE: And you have an empty bottle!
TAY: So I’m a miner who’s into weaving, that’s my expertise, and I have an empty bottle. Cool.
PINE: You have an empty bottle, that’s very important. Um (laughing) So I am homebrewing a small aspect of this game to make it fit to the Fringes which is that I am introducing a mechanic to uh get you lost in reality and also to get you home. So I have created a bunch of little reality ideas that are also randomized and you’re gonna roll another d20 for me and I’m gonna tell you–
TAY: (crosstalk) Oh god.
PINE: Where you will get lost
TAY: Alright. Let’s see here… That is a 7.
PINE: Okay! Reality 7, oh that’s exciting. Um… Well you’ll find that out once you get into it. Oh we need to roll for your dice!
TAY: Oh yeah! Like my.. Like my skills or whatever it is.
PINE: Yes… Okay. The first thing you’re gonna do is… roll a d10 for me.
TAY: A d10. We get… Which one is that… That’s a… That’s a 9, yeah yeah I’m looking at that the right way. That’s a 9.
PINE: Okay so you have a d10 in heart.
TAY: Sounds about right.
PINE: Alright then roll a d8 for me.
TAY: That’s a 3.
PINE: Okay so you have a d8 in feet. Then roll a d6.
TAY: Ooooh. I- I now see how this is working. I see how this works.
PINE: Yes.
TAY: That’s a 2.
PINE: 2, you have a d6 in face.
TAY: Wait so am I now locked out from ever having fists?
PINE: No! Roll a d4 for me.
TAY: Okay. That is a 4!
PINE: Okay, um… Oh I see what you mean. Well…
TAY: (laughing)
PINE: Um… I guess I will just roll that up to the next closest one so you will have a d4 in fingers.
TAY: Okay.
PINE: And then you’ll have a d12 in fists.
TAY: Oh! Okay.
PINE: Because you get a d12 in whichever one you don’t roll.
TAY: Okay so that is… Okay. I have… I need to arrange these out because I’m already forgetting. It was a d10 in heart.
PINE: Yes.
TAY: I just gonna like put these in order. D10 in heart. Face was the d6.
PINE: Mmhm.
TAY: Feet was the d8?
PINE: Yes.
TAY: Fingers is the…
PINE: D4.
TAY: D4 and then fists is a d12.
PINE: Yes. I also wrote all these down so if you forget I will have them written down.
TAY: (crosstalk) Amazing. Amazing thank you, I will… I will be asking at some point.
PINE: Okay… And then… I think… So you start with 7 hit points. That is just how that works.
TAY: Alright!
PINE: Um… Yeah, so you’re a miner so you get endurance and then you can pick…
TAY: Ooo. Balanced weapon, heavy weapon, masonry, or woodworking. See I like the idea that he’s into like weaving and woodworking–
PINE: (crosstalk) Okay!
TAY: But! But I feel like- I feel like with the meaty fists that I have that I have to go with heavy weapons.
PINE: Okay–
TAY: Oh no but it says a pick is a balanced weapon. I guess I’m gonna go with the balanced weapons then.
PINE: Okay.
TAY: Yeah.
PINE: And then you have, um… Pick and torches–
TAY: As my items.
PINE: Okay! And then you are level one and that’s just how the world works. Um… And we’re– I’m so sad that we have to skip out on the title generator because the title generator is so much fun to me but I’ve already created worlds because this is for podcast bonus content and the title generator doesn’t work with what I need.
TAY: Can we just- can we just roll one anyways? I just wanna see what could have been.
PINE: Alright, roll a d12 for me.
TAY: Alright, we have 5? We have 7.
PINE: Garden! Garden of the iron–
TAY: Beast.
PINE: Garden of the Iron Beast. Hell yeah.
TAY: It’s just a hedge trimmer.
PINE: (wheezing)
TAY: They just don’t- They just don’t understand what that is in this world.
PINE: I mean… (laughing) Okay.
TAY: (laughing) Alright, sorry, continue.
PINE: (laughing) No, that’s… It’s gonna be really hard for me not to incorporate a hedge trimmer into this now.
TAY: (laughing)
PINE: But, you did. OH! You need a name.
TAY: Oh, I need– Ah, oh god!
PINE: I forgot about names.
TAY: Uh… Jonny– ha no.
PINE: (laughing) Don’t you fucking dare.
TAY: (Laughing) Uh, okay, god I’m so freaking bad with names. Um… We’re gonna go with… (sigh) Give me a letter. Give me a letter, I need something to go off of.
PINE: Um…
TAY: I need something to bring my brain to a focal point.
PINE: Okay let’s go with F.
TAY: His name is… Franklin… Delaney. Franklin Delaney, that’s an old medieval name right?
PINE: I mean you… Okay so are going to wake up in another reality. So for all I know Franklin Delaney is from– what, you live in Boston? Yeah, that scans.
TAY: Okay! Yeah, no that scans. Franklin Delaney from Boston, yeah! I like that I just tried to do a Boston accent (laughing) I tried to do one but I can’t do one because no one has the ability to- to look internally at their own accent.
PINE: (wheezing) It’s okay. I- I appreciate the attempt. So you, Franklin Delaney, are going to wake up in another reality, specifically reality 7 which is what you rolled. So how this is going to work is you are going to explore the world and try to find information that can be used to get you home. Every piece of information lowers the d20 so that you have a greater chance of getting back. There’s 4 key pieces of information that I have drafted for each, um, world that I’ve created and so– If you have none of the information you’ve gotta roll a nat 20 to leave. If you get one piece, it’s an 18 or above. 15 or above for 2, 12 or above for 3, 9 or above for all 4 piece of information. Does that make sense?
TAY: Now how often am I allowed to try to leave?
PINE: Um… That’s up to you, I mean if you think that the conversation you’ve had has given you information that you think would lower your DC to leave I’ll let you try. I’ll tell you what your DC is so you can make your decision of whether or not you wanna roll based on that. Theoretically you could try as much as you want. Whether or not you get home–
TAY: (crosstalk) I guess that was my question of like of is- is there a downside.
PINE: Um… There… There is not because I didn’t want to introduce the um. Effect of despair so–
TAY: (laughing)
PINE: Franklin Delaney doesn’t know that you’re rolling to try to get him home.
TAY: Okay. Okay I see. I see.
PINE: Alright. If that all makes sense to you, let’s crack into this. Unless you have any questions.
TAY: No, let’s just jump right in!
PINE: Okay. So you… Wake up. Distinctly not in your bed. Specifically on a hardwood floor in what appears to be a bright orange room. But you’re not quite sure because the sun is doing something weird where it almost looks like the normal sun and then you look through your eyes a little bit too long and you’re just like ‘Hmm. What’s going on here?’ What do you do?
TAY: Okay so sorry I wake up, I’m in an orange room. Do you mean like the light is orange or the walls are orange?
PINE: Uh, the light in the room is orange. The walls may or may not be orange, you can’t quite tell because the lights really fucking with you.
TAY: I… I mean I think I would probably rub my eyes and do that thing you know when it’s way too bright in the morning and you’re just trying to barely open your eyes to adjust after you’ve just woken up.
PINE: Okay–
TAY: Does the pain of the brightness go away at all? Like, like am I able to get used to it within a few minutes or is it just continuing to be intense?
PINE: You are able to adjust to it after you do that thing where you’re slowly opening your eyes and going ‘Okay, yeah, this is fine.’ The room seems to be just bathed in an orange light, almost like it’s sunset. But the last you knew it was nighttime and you just woke up so why would it be sunset now?
TAY: Where is the sunlight coming from?
PINE: There is a large window to your right.
TAY: Uh, I would like to… Look out the window.
PINE: Okay. So you get up off the floor and you go to this large window. It’s kind of arched in shape. Kind of one of those stereotypical, you know, looks– like on the side of a fancy house windows. And so you stare out. The world outside– Franklin Delaney is from Boston, yes?
TAY: Yeah.
PINE: Boston is a pretty urban area. This is not. There appears to be some kind of– It almost looks like a horse but you don’t recall horses having that many legs. Um, and it’s just kind of trotting along down the side of what appears to be kind of like a street except it doesn’t appear to be made of any kind of asphalt or concrete. It looks… More like wood which doesn’t make sense with how you know streets to be? But there is a too many legged horse and a man on its back and they’re just kind of going about their business. And beside them is– you think it’s a log cabin? But again, Franklin Delaney is from Boston, why the hell is there a log cabin here?
TAY: Now, I do- I do feel the need clarify: Are we talking like 6 legs or are we talking like centipede? Like what– At what degree of too many legs are we talking?
PINE: (laughing) How many too many legs on this horse? Uh, roughly 8 legs.
TAY: Ooo, don’t like that!
PINE: (laughing)
TAY: Um… Okay, um, I mean…. I’m sorry for the 5% chance of me derailing everything but I do think the first thing would be closing his eyes or pinching himself and seeing if he’s dreaming and trying to- to see if this is reality or– and I’m gonna roll– trying to go back home.
PINE: Okay! Um… You pinch your leg and you feel that– you’re very much awake. And so… If you would like to roll a d20 for me, you need to crit.
TAY: I’m gonna try. I’m gonna try, let’s see… And you’re gonna have to trust me. (laughing) It’s a 1.
PINE: (laughing)
TAY: I did the exact worst case I could’ve done in that scenario.
PINE: The good news is that there’s not a critical fail on that because it’s just– It’s more like a luck check than anything else. So nothing bad happens but you do pinch your leg… There’s pain. You are definitely awake in a world where out the window there is a ground made of wood and log cabins and horses that might not be horses because they have 8 legs.
TAY: Now, to clarify: Is it that there’s a road made of wood or is it that all of like the floor- or the ground everywhere is made of wood?
PINE: The road is made of wood.
TAY: Alright. I mean I would- Is the guy on the horse like is he chilling there or is he making his way down the road? Like are there any other people around? Or is this the only person I can see and he is kind of rapidly going away from me?
PINE: He is slowly making his way down the road, far slower than you would expect a horse with 8 legs to move. You think that maybe because there are so many legs they kind of get in each other’s way.
TAY: (laughing)
PINE: So he is the only person you see so far. He’s just kind of slowly meandering down the road on this fucked up horse.
TAY: Alright. I think I- I trust that I can catch up, so I am going to take a moment to… I assume, is there a door? Is there a door to this room I am in? I suppose I should also ask if there is anything else– any other furniture or any drawers in this room?
PINE: So there is a bed next to where you were laying on the floor. You’re not entirely sure how you got onto the floor, whether you fell out of the bed and didn’t notice or you just flopped onto the floor to begin with. Across from the bed is a dresser of– or, yeah. A dresser of drawers which is basically the same thing. You can look through them if you want, you’re also distinctly aware that this is not your house. So that choice is up to you. But there is a door to the left of the dresser, kind of across from the window.
TAY: Hmm… Realizing that it isn’t my house, is the window closed? Or is the window openable?
PINE: Ooo I didn’t think that far.
TAY: I guess I should also ask, am I on the first floor or–
PINE: You appear to be on a second story. Um. The window is openable but kind of like windows in student accommodations where it opens from the bottom and only just barely.
TAY: (crosstalk) Oh come on–
PINE: So you couldn’t get out of it, but you can open the window and like, theoretically call to someone.
TAY: Nah, like, I think in that case I will… Is there– Are there any pictures on the walls, anything like that to– without going through dressers or anything like that is there anything that might denote who lives here?
PINE: Uh there is a picture above the dresser of another one of those fucked up horses with 8 legs. This one is blue.
TAY: Okay. Um… Also the guy I saw on the horse, at least from afar did he look like a normal guy?
PINE: Yeah, he just looked like a normal guy. He had like a top hat on which you thought was weird but no weirder than the 8 legged horse.
TAY: Um… (laughing) ‘No weirder than the 8 legged horse’ I feel like those– they’re both nowhere near each other on the spectrum of weirdness.
PINE: I’m not saying they are the same but, you know–
TAY: (crosstalk) No, I know I know, I just–
PINE: (crosstalk) How often do you see a man in a top hat?
TAY: Um… I guess that’s fair. Uh, alright. I guess I would quietly make my way out the door.
PINE: Okay! You open the door. It does give a little bit of a creak (creaking sound) as you pull it. Um, but you’re able to see there is a set of stairs straight in front of you. To your left there appears to be– No. Directions. Eh, this is a fucked up house. To your left there appears to be another door–
TAY: (crosstalk) The house has 8 legs.
PINE: (laughing) The house does have– The house in fact has 8 legs you go down the stairs and you find out it’s just legs. No–
TAY: It’s a Baba Yaga scenario but it’s a spider instead of a chicken. Arguably 10 times scarier.
PINE: (laughing) That would be so much worse. Uh no, there is a room to your left, the door is closed so you could explore that or you could go down the stairs. It’s not a Baba Yaga house.
TAY: I think I would like to go down the stairs.
PINE: Okay! You go down stairs, uh. (sound of feet on wood floors) It opens to a large kind of living room area. (sound stops) You can see a kitchen through a door to your right. There appears to be someone in the kitchen, uh, from your vantage point looks more feminine leaning, um, kind of heavier set, long blonde hair that you think might be dyed and they’re just kind of humming to themselves. (humming tune starts) So you can either go to the right which is towards this kitchen or you see a door which you think will probably lead outside off to your left.
TAY: I… I would- oh. I would like to try and sneak outside.
PINE: Okay! We’re– I’m gonna have you roll for sneakiness.
TAY: Yeah…
PINE: So that is going to be… Let’s call that a feet roll, I think that’s the most applicable roll there.
TAY: And feet was the d4, wasn’t it?
PINE: Feet was the d8, thank you.
TAY: (crosstalk) Oh, yay! Okay, okay.
PINE: I’m not that mean. We’re gonna call this… Let’s call this a DC 6. It’s tricky but she’s clearly not paying attention to you.
TAY: DC 6. Okay.
PINE: There is a mechanic in this game where you can put your heart into a roll which means you can add the dice for your heart for your heart as well, however if you fail the roll still while putting your heart into it- it goes worse for you.
TAY: I’m- You know what? I’m going to put my heart into it–
PINE: (crosstalk) Okay.
TAY: Because I really don’t want to scare this poor lady if she doesn’t know who I am.
PINE: Okay. Go ahead and roll!
TAY: So this is a d8 and a d10.
PINE: Yes.
TAY: Oh god… Oh fuck me.
PINE: Seriously?!
TAY: I rolled- I rolled a 1 on the d8.
PINE: Okay…
TAY: And I rolled a 3 on the d10.
PINE: Oh buddy.
TAY: Yeah.
PINE: Okay. She startles. (humming abruptly stops) You get your hand on the doorknob but she seems to hear that kind of loud click (click sound) as it turns. She startles and kind of whips an object at you. It’s not like a knife or anything sharp, but you are gonna take a point of damage from being hit really unexpectedly, right in the face.
TAY: Alright, that seems fair.
DIANA: Who in god’s name are you and what are you doing in my house?
FRANKLIN: Quite- quite honestly I’m just trying to get out of here. I don’t know if I had too much to drink last night but I just woke up in your upstairs bath– upstairs bedroom.
DIANA: You woke up in my bedroom?
FRANKLIN: Or whatever the room upstairs with the blue horse on the wall.
DIANA: What in god’s name is a horse?
FRANKLIN: Uh. The- The blue creature with a lot of legs?
DIANA: (softly) Blue creature– (normal volume) Oh! My riding buddy.
FRANKLIN: Is that… Y-yeah, your riding buddy, I woke up on the floor with no clue how I got up there.
DIANA: Okay, I have never seen you around here before. Do you have a name, strange person who woke up in my bedroom apparently?
FRANKLIN: The name’s, uh… The name’s Franklin and I think I’m already gathering I’m a little far from home right now.
DIANA: A little seems about right. You don’t right sound like anyone I’ve ever heard before in my life. What kind of name is Franklin?
TAY: What is, uh, I should ask, what… That was almost- I was gonna say ‘What is she wearing’ but no–
PINE: (laughing) Sorry–
TAY: But, no, um, what kind of clothing. Like, are, like what’s the vibe does it seem like modern clothing or is it like– what’s it- what’s going on there.
PINE: Um… So she appears to be wearing a denim skirt that you think might be actually able to zip into pants if she wanted them to.
TAY: (crosstalk) Oh fucking incredible.
PINE: (laughing) Uh, she’s got a loose, white blouse on where it’s kinda like flowy sleeves. There’s like a little keyhole cut like right above the sternum. Um… But it’s not– You wouldn’t describe it as modern, but it’s not like–
TAY: It’s not like super frilly. Like, it’s not like like, dozen of frills either, right?
PINE: No, it’s very practical for someone who has something that she calls a riding buddy that has that many legs.
TAY: Okay, okay. Um. Carry on.
DIANA: Okay, yeah so. Not from around here, what kind of name is Franklin anyway? Um. Don’t know how you got into my house. I guess… Well, I’m Diana. Um. I don’t know rightwise how you would get here, um…
PINE: And she kind of holds out her hand to you, not like she’s trying to attack you, and you’re too far away to touch. But you do feel kind of this burst of air (sound of wind) that seems to f;ow from her fingertips. (wind stops)
TAY: Um… I mean, I know this game doesn’t really have an insight check, or does it? Is face kind of that? Am I getting any kind of hostility or is it just curiosity on her part? With whatever she’s doing to me.
PINE: You’re getting more curiosity than anything else. Let me double check what face constitutes.
TAY: Yeah, I can’t remember, I think face is more for like persuasion–
PINE: (crosstalk) Yeah, it’s more like a persuasion. I’m trying to think if it has like an equivalent of insight, let me check. Okay, face is used for test of charms and deception, feet for tests of speed and agility, fingers skills and precision, fists tests of strength. Um, why don’t you roll me heart, actually.
TAY: I think heart is fair!
PINE: To see if you’re getting any kind of hostile vibe from her. I will say… I’ll say this is another DC 6. You don’t know her well enough for this to be super easy, but it’s not the hardest thing I can make you do.
TAY: Sounds good. Let’s see… I rolled… A 9!
PINE: Okay! Yeah, you don’t get a sense of hostility from her. She really just does seem curious, um, almost like you’re the most fascinating thing that has happened to her in a really long time. And you can see that the curious nature that she picks up or that she puts on is very like positive and fascinated as opposed to scared or worried–
TAY: Okay!
PINE: She’s just kinda like ‘There’s a man in my house, I guess this is my life now, so what’s your deal?’
TAY: (laughing)
PINE: That’s kinda her vibe.
FRANKLIN: Um. Mind if I ask what you’re doing there?
DIANA: Well I’m cooking. Trying to make some porridge.
FRANKLIN: (crosstalk) Oh, sorry, I meant with your hands there.
DIANA: Oh with my hands! Uh… Magic. Do you- do you not… Do. Magic?
FRANKLIN: Where I’m from there’s none of that.
DIANA: What- what do you mean there’s none of that, everywhere has magic, look.
PINE: And she kind of thrusts her hand out to you again. Instead of that puff of wind, there’s this sparkle of light (wind chimes) that kind of takes on the same orange that was the brightness of the sun before before fading. It’s not as intense, like you can still look at it, but it just kind of kicks up around–
TAY: (crosstalk) I’m just a pile of ash– (laughing)
PINE: (laughing)
TAY: Game over, I asked the wrong questions–
PINE: (crosstalk) No, you still get– you’re good!
FRANKLIN: Yeah, no where I’m… Where I’m from, magic is something that is a uh… That is- everyone wishes it existed but as far as we’re aware there is none of it in the world.
DIANA: Oh- okay. There’s… There’s a lot going on here. So… You don’t have… Well, I call it a riding buddy, it’s technically called an Arachnid Dog but–
TAY: (laughing)
DIANA: I mean, that sounds much scarier than it is. So you don’t got those, you don’t got magic, and you wake up in other people’s houses without knowing how you got there?
FRANKLIN: So I should clarify the waking up in someone else’s house, this is a first. I- This wasn’t something I chose or that has ever happened to me. Um… The rest of it… I- we got, we got the Arachnid Dogs? But they only have 4 legs.
DIANA: Um. Okay, sure.
FRANKLIN: So things are similar but different I guess you could say. Um.
DIANA: (crosstalk) Okay, okay)
FRANKLIN: Yeah, we got the riding buddies with 4 legs, no magic whatsoever, but still a– oh, what’s the best way to say this? But still an understanding of what magic would be if it existed if that makes sense? Like there are stories that are considered fiction that are about people who have magic but no one in the world actually has it.
DIANA: Well that’s just very sad.
FRANKLIN: Ain’t it?
DIANA: It- yes! That is why I did say that.
TAY: (laughing)
DIANA: I realize I’ve been mighty rude. My name is Diana Willowind, um… I don’t know of anyone named Franklin ever in my life and I’ve never met someone who can’t do magic so you are living a very sad life but I should at the very least offer you some food. Uh. Why don’t you sit?
FRANKLIN: Sure, uh, yeah thank you. A meal would be great.
PINE: Okay so she goes back into the kitchen and continues cooking. You see she’s not really cooking in the way you would consider cooking (bubbling sounds) there’s no stirring, there’s no flipping, it’s just a lot of waving her hands and this combination of like air and color seeming to do what you would have to do manually. And eventually she sets down a bowl of porridge in front of you and takes her own bowl and sits across from you and just kind of stares at you curiously.
TAY: Um… I- I mean I would- I… does it seem, I don’t want to seem incredulous in any way but just like at a glance does it just look like normal porridge? Like do I notice any eyeballs in it or anything weird or does it just seem like an unassuming bowl of porridge?
PINE: Oh no, it looks like regular porridge. Like you’re not sure if it would be the same grain that you are used to but there’s nothing weird about it like it looks like it’s made of oats.
TAY: Alright. I take a- I take a hearty bite
PINE: Yeah it just tastes like oatmeal. It’s got like maybe some equivalent of cinnamon. You would assume cinnamon but then again the horses have 8 legs so you’re not really sure.
TAY: Um, yeah, is she just- is she still staring at me?
PINE: She’s still staring at you but she kind of- she takes a bite of her porridge and leans in and kinda goes
DIANA: So you… are lost-
FRANKLIN: (crosstalk) Very much so.
DIANA: I- I mean yeah that feels like the understatement of… a million years. But you are lost. And while I’m not necessarily the most equipped to help you, I do feel like I should at least make an attempt. So! Where are you from and what do you remember before you woke up in my room? In my bed? I-
FRANKLIN: The floor, the floor, actually. Not that that’s any better-
DIANA: (crosstalk) Do you often sleep on the floor?
FRANKLIN: Weirdly enough no? And the bed looked-
TAY: Actually, I should ask you. Did the bed look like I could’ve fallen out of it or was it like rumpled sheets?
PINE: The bed was made.
TAY: Yeah, yeah okay so I would say
FRANKLIN: I woke up on the floor and your bed was made.
DIANA: Okay. Sure. So you woke up on the floor- Okay. Tell me the last things that you remember and we’ll see if there’s anything I can do to help you out from there.
TAY: What, um. I guess what do I remember?
PINE: I will let you decide that. What, um. What is the last thing that Franklin had done before going to bed the night before?
TAY: Are you like looking for anything otherworldly or just like can it just be as mundane as a normal night? (Laughing)
PINE: It can be as mundane or as otherworldly as you want it to be. You’ve kind of established already that there is no magic in Boston so unfortunately he can’t be doing magic of any sort but I’ll let you decide that world.
TAY: Yeah. I think he would be… I think it would be a quiet… I think it would be a- a quiet, Sunday night in. Uh.. where uh. Now that I think about it, I would assume that miners at least nowadays those who work in that sort of vocation of working with, you know, of doing the modern day equivalent of mining- in Boston-
PINE: (crosstalk, laughing) In Boston-
TAY: Would, uh, would have a Monday to Friday so yeah it’s, uh, a Sunday evening and I think to kind of get some of the Sunday scaries of the week is about to start he spends some time weaving. Because we’ve gotta work that in somewhere!
PINE: (laughing) We’ve gotta fit the weaving in!
TAY: Weaving is the most important part! Oh I wonder-
PINE: Yes!
TAY: Oh I wonder if the Arachnid Dogs have webs. But we can cover that later. Um, but, uh uh. Yeah so he just has a night of weaving and then I don’t know, 10PM bed time. Nothing, nothing really all that weird.
PINE: Okay. Okay so you-
TAY: He’s, he’s- I have my pickaxe on me right waking up right like that’s an item I have?
PINE: (crosstalk) Yes you do! You would have that.
TAY: I think he would be- he would be confused that he has his pickaxe and torch on him but that his retainer isn’t in still. I think that’s- that’s really confusing him (laughing) is that he went to bed and not only does he have these items but his retainer is nowhere to be found. And in the back of his mind he’s a little worried cuz those are like 300 bucks and he doesn’t want to have to get a new retainer fitted.
PINE: Yeah it seems like however you got here you got here with the bag you usually bring to work with you. It does have your pickaxe in it and the torch that you carry with you. Which, I’m gonna just- make that the British equivalent of a torch.
TAY: (crosstalk) It’s a flashlight. Yeah. I was gonna say-
PINE: It’s a flashlight (laughing) cuz we’ve established a more modern world for that. So you’ve got your pickaxe and your flashlight. Is there anything else in your bag that you would want to have? Your empty bottle, of course, but do you have like bits for weaving or anything in there?
TAY: Oh, I mean I think- No, we’re not gonna get complicated. I was gonna say he has his phone that obviously doesn’t work. But no, uh… Let’s say that he has…
PINE: I mean you can have your phone if you really want it’s not gonna have cell service. It’s just gonna be a flat rectangle.
TAY: Yeah you know what? You know what, let’s say I have my phone and I have the empty bottle.
PINE: (crosstalk) Of course.
TAY: Uh… You know what the bottle- it’s one of those like blue Saratoga Springs sparkling water bottles.
PINE: Okay.
TAY: I don’t know. That’s the first thing- like “Why would he have a glass bottle?” And I’m like yeah he had some sparkling water but he got one of the fancy like glass bottle ones.
PINE: Okay. A fancy miner. A fancy miner boy!
TAY: Yeah let’s say- (laughing) And he has that and he he has the- the phone.
PINE: Okay. So you… have all these things. Um… do you show any of this to Diana.
TAY: I think I would… I mean if we’re having this back and forth I’d be like
FRANKLIN: I know y’all have magic here. What… What- I don’t know if this would be the right phrase because I know there are some differences between our worlds but what level of technology do you have?
PINE: Well I mean like it’s fancier than your busted up rectangle.
TAY: I mean I would- I would- Does my phone still have a little bit of battery at least?
PINE: Um, it turns on but the screen kind of immediately blacks out like it cannot handle wherever it is.
TAY: (crosstalk) Ah, damn it. Damn it.
FRANKLIN: Um, where I’m from these are probably the closest to magic we have. (Laughing)
DIANA: Rectangles are the- Okay.
FRANKLIN: It’s- its not working here but this thing can take like that painting of the horse- sorry of the Arachnid Dog that y’all have here-
DIANA: (crosstalk) Uh huh uh huh.
FRANKLIN: We can make a picture like that in seconds using one of these. Which I’m sure you can do with magic here.
DIANA: I was gonna say, but this does sound like it would be the height of a world without magic.
FRANKLIN: Do, I have to ask, do y’all- like is Arachnid Dog- do y’all have spiders here too? Or do you just call them arachnids?
DIANA: What’s a spider?
FRANKLIN: Okay. We don’t need to go into that.
(Pine and Tay both laughing)
PINE: This is so fun for me because I’m making that up in real time, making that decision and going “Yeah no screw it, they don’t have spiders.” Her name’s Diana, she’s named after like a Roman goddess but talks about a singular god-
TAY: (crosstalk) Her name’s Diana but Franklin, oh no-
PINE: (crosstalk) And she doesn’t have spiders! (Laughing) It’s fine! Everything’s fine! Um… Okay.
DIANA: But like in terms of technology there’s a pretty big city not that far out from here. It’s- well… My riding buddy can get there in like… maybe 30 clicks or so? Um… but…
TAY: About how long is 1 click?
PINE: Uh for you that’s like a 30 minute ride on this weird horse that moves slower than a regular horse so you would say in a car? You could probably do that in 15.
TAY: Oh okay. Okay. So what is that like 4 miles? 5 miles? I guess I’m thinking of city traffic- (laughing)
PINE: (laughing) Also you’re thinking that I can conceptualize a mile.
TAY: (crosstalk) That was very telling. That was very telling. Alright, continue. Sorry.
DIANA: Okay so… Technology. Yeah, there is the city. I don’t much go into there. I mean the riding buddy can go but it spooks him. It spooks him right up to see those tall buildings and to see all those like… What would you call this? You’d probably call this something silly like “A light”. Um… But there’s a lot of them there.
FRANKLIN: Wait, um… Describe it to me?
DIANA: Um…
PINE: She kind of… flicks her hand out (wind chimes) and there’s just that pulse of orange light like the sun again.
DIANA: It’s like that but it’s contained in a jar and they just string them up everywhere
FRANKLIN: Oh! Okay, yeah we would- we would actually- that was a very apt guess.
TAY: And internally Franklin is wondering if she’s fucking with him. Uh, but, uh-
FRANKLIN: We do call those lights actually.
PINE: (laughing) Do you wanna make a other heart roll to see if she’s fucking with you?
TAY: Yeah, yeah wait because how the fuck do they not have a word for light? Also sorry I’m- you can bleep all of this out (laughing) but how do they not-
PINE: (crosstalk) I’ve been swearing more than you, you’re good.
TAY: Okay, I’m gonna- I’m gonna make a- fuck- a heart roll.
PINE: (crosstalk) Yeah, we’ll say- you have a bet-
TAY: That’s a 3!
PINE: Well I was gonna set the DC as 3 so you’re good. Yeah she’s fucking with you.
TAY: (crosstalk) Okay, meets it beats it.
PINE: (crosstalk) She’s fucking with you 100 percent.
TAY: Then I wouldn’t- I would say like- lightheartedly sarcastic like-
FRANKLIN: Oh how did you know?
DIANA: It’s magic. (Laughing) That thing you don’t have. In your sad little life with your sad little rectangle.
FRANKLIN: Do you-
TAY: Can I just st- Is she single? Can I just stay here?
PINE: (wheezing)
TAY: Can that just be- The end of Franklin’s story is he’s in a world of magic (laughing) And has an awesome wife who lives outside with their little Arachnid Dog. (laughing) Anyways, um. I think I would ask-
FRANKLIN: Considering that magic is something widespread here, is there anyone that you think I should go see who could help me get back home?
DIANA: Well it depends on where home is. I mean, you make it sound like it’s another world but maybe you just live in a weird part of the city. A lot of city folk just don’t know what goes on outside of that bubble.
FRANKLIN: It’s- it’s definitely like- would a city person have at least knowledge of what an Arachnid Dog is?
DIANA: I mean I guess they would but I don’t know you could just be weird.
FRANKLIN: I can guarantee you I am not from… Nowhere like this have I ever heard of in my life. And not just by being a shut-in.
PINE: (laughing) I’m sorry now I’m just picturing Franklin the shut-in miner who falls to another reality and is like ‘I guess I’ll stay here and make this lady my wife’-
TAY: I mean- I mean come on! It’s- It’s such a nice, quaint existence!
PINE: (laughing) Within the canon of the show you could. It’s not- it’s not advised because of how reality works but there is an episode where that does happen. Where someone falls into a place and clearly wants to stay and the Keeper does let the person stay!
TAY: Yeah, I’ll just- no, no I’ll keep playing along.
PINE: Speaking of do you want to make any rolls to try and get home?
TAY: Uh… I mean- Well so I’m trying to think of like in universe…
PINE: Mmhmm.
TAY: I guess I could just ask like-
PINE: I’ll tell you right now you’re at a DC 15.
TAY: I guess I would ask like- If there’s anything even if it’s not super intense that she could try.
PINE: Okay!
TAY: Even if it’s just something- like, is there anything for like if you’re taking a trip home, are there any like teleportation spells that she could just try zapping me with and seeing what happens?
PINE: Okay yeah! Yeah, she kinda ponders that for a minute. Looking at you and the bag of stuff that you have and your phone and your pickaxe and kind of… She reaches for it, like asking if she can grab your items.
TAY: Yeah I’ll let her.
PINE: Okay so she kinda arranges what you have in a little bit of a triangular shape on the floor and she kinda like
DIANA: Stand in the middle of that. Let’s try something.
TAY: I would stand in the middle!
PINE: Okay. (wind chimes) So she’s going to hold out both of her hands again and you see that kind of same orange light but this time instead of flashing at you it almost feels like it’s growing as she’s kind of pointing her hands at you.
TAY: Alright and now I’ll do my roll.
PINE: Okay!
TAY: Alright, d20 time. (exhale) That is- How?
PINE: That’s what?
TAY: No it’s like I’m always rolling like exactly the opposite. Because before it was a 20 and I got a 1. Now, I know it was a 15- I got a 5.
PINE: Ohh.
TAY: Yeah, so.
PINE: It’s better than a 1!
TAY: It’s improving.
PINE: So you see like her eyes were closed and she’s holding her hands out and you see this light and eventually it starts to fade and her eyes open and she looks at you and goes
DIANA: Well you’re still here. So that clearly didn’t work.
FRANKLIN: I appreciate you trying!
DIANA: I mean, it’s possible that there’s… It’s a big city, there might be… (sigh, followed by grumbles)
PINE: And she sits back down and starts thinking.
DIANA: There… Are stories told quite often that are just stories but– We could try the (sigh) We could try the orange bell field. I’m not sure if being there would actually do anything but the old stories say that–
FRANKLIN: I’m willing to try anything.
DIANA: Okay. Then, yeah–
FRANKLIN: I mean what do the old stories say?
DIANA: Well they– Supposedly power is enhanced in the orange bell fields. I’ve never seen anything… Miraculous happen in the way that people say that it does… But maybe being outside and being in nature and seeing more of this world will just help focus me so I can get you home?
FRANKLIN: I’m willing to- I’m willing to try anything. That sounds great to me.
DIANA: Okay. Let’s– Let’s… Yeah. Let’s try it! I mean, it can’t hurt- well…
FRANKLIN: If it can– I mean, I’m willing to try anything, so it’s okay, it’s okay-
DIANA: I don’t wanna say it can’t hurt because I don’t know you come from a world without magic, I’ve never had to deal with that, maybe it will hurt you, I don’t know!
FRANKLIN: Are you, I’m a little curious about something- In this world– Are you
TAY: I should clarify, I’m asking this somewhat facetiously if that’s the right word to you because I have read the guidebook on this but I think Franklin would ask is magic something that is inherent to the world that anyone can do or if there’s like a bloodline kind of thing.
DIANA: Everyone can- everyone does magic. I- the only time I’ve ever seen someone not be able to was when they got real sick and I think it was because they couldn’t get the magic out. I think it just built in them until they- it got to be too much. I- This is a whole new ball game for me Franklin.
FRANKLIN: Can you- Are you able to teach me anything?
TAY: I wanna see if I can- If I can tap into any of that.
PINE: (crosstalk) Ooo! Yeah!
TAY: Like, I- you know, if I’m in a new world I might as well try.
PINE: Yeah! Oh, um… Let’s- She’s going to kind of move her hands in a way and kind of gesture for you to mimic the movement and we’re gonna have you roll… I think fingers is the most applicable because that’s like skill and precision where finesse is important. I’m gonna set this…
TAY: (crosstalk) Which one was fingers?
PINE: Unfortunately fingers is a d4 for you.
TAY: (quiet crosstalk) I see.
PINE: And your DC is going to be 12. You can put your heart in-
TAY: (crosstalk) I was gonna I’m put my heart into this, yeah.
PINE: Okay. So you’re rolling a d4-
TAY: (crosstalk) Because if I can stay here and do magic, maybe I do just stay.
PINE: (laughing) Okay. Roll me a d4 and a d10.
TAY: Oh god. And I know I’m gonna get hurt! I know– But… You said it’s a DC 12?
PINE: Yes.
TAY: (deep sigh) Okay.
PINE: (audible smile) Which, according to their difficulty scale, is ‘desperate’!
TAY: That’s uh.. That’s a 1 on the d4.
PINE: Okay.
TAY: And a 7 on the d10.
PINE: I was gonna say there was now way you could beat-
TAY: There was no way I could do it.
PINE: Okay so you’re gonna take another point of damage-
TAY: (crosstalk) Yeah…
PINE: As you almost get something but whatever you’re doing is so alien to you that you just snap your wrist. Like, not breaking it but you can feel that (cracking sound) of like pain as if you like hit it against something. Like ‘nope, nope, body says no. Body says don’t do that.’ So it’s not broken, but–
TAY: (crosstalk) I wanna try one more time.
PINE: (wheezing laughter)
TAY: I’ve still got 5 hit points. I wanna try one more time.
PINE: Okay! She… So she’s like-
DIANA: Let’s try this again, maybe something smaller.
PINE: And so she’s showing you a hand motion again, this kind of gentle curling of fingers that bring light into her hand. You can try it again, it’s still a DC 12.
TAY: I’m gonna try it again. I’m gonna try it again. I know it’s not going to go well but I’m going to try it again.
PINE: (laughing)
TAY: Please. Please dice. Be kind. Be kind to me for the first fucking time tonight. (sigh) So.
PINE: Mmhm.
TAY: The d4 was a 4!
PINE: Okay. Ah, dice explode. So you can roll that again.
TAY: Wait what?!
PINE: I forgot about that–
TAY: I haven’t rolled that- I mean, I haven’t critted on anything. But what?
PINE: Yeah, so, uh. Dice explode in this game so if you crit on your roll you can roll that again. And you add that to it.
TAY: Well, do you want to hear what I got on the d10?
PINE: Tell me what you got on the d10!
TAY: A 2.
PINE: Okay.
TAY: So-
PINE: (crosstalk) You’re at a 6-
TAY: (crosstalk) We’re at a 6-
PINE: It could explode again!
TAY: (laughing) Please!
PINE: Roll the d4 again!
TAY: I’m fucking rolling, I’m shaking my hands. Come on (blowing) Alright. Holy shit! I shit you not that’s another 4. I would take a picture, this is not me–
PINE: I believe you, I believe you. So you’re-
TAY: (crosstalk) We’re at 10.
PINE: (crosstalk) You’re at 10 so roll the d4 again because the explosions stack.
TAY: It’s gonna be a 1. I know it’s gonna be a 1, I’m just letting myself down nicely, it’s gonna be a one. (breathing) Alright, we roll. It’s a 3!
PINE: Ayy! You got it!
TAY: Yes!!
PINE: (laughing) So you mimic the movement and it still feels wrong in your hand like you’re trying to bend your hand back to touch your palm- or, to touch your wrist-
TAY: (quiet crosstalk) Oh god.
PINE: Which just, you can’t do.
TAY: Yeah.
PINE: I mean, I assume. My ex could do that, it was weird.
TAY: (laughing) No, I cannot do that.
PINE: And- (laughing) So it feels almost like that, like you’re pushing yourself too far but in the end your palm does erupt into- (wind chimes) Give me a color.
TAY: Uh, purple.
PINE: Okay! It erupts (wind chimes) into this soft purple light that is the same like glowing shape that the orange in Diana’s hand is.
DIANA: Well I’ll be damned. And you said you didn’t do magic, Franklin.
FRANKLIN: I- I- I- haven’t until now.
DIANA: Okay… Let’s… Try this again. Get in the-
TAY: (crosstalk) Oh no.
DIANA: Get between the stuff again and I want you to copy what I’m doing.
TAY: Oh, so is this gonna be a d20?
PINE: If you want to try and go home.
TAY: Do I? I really like Diana?
PINE: (Laughing)
TAY: No, you know what- you know what I’ll have it be? I have a cat.
PINE: Oh. What’s your cat’s name?
TAY: Uh… It’s a little black cat named Shadow.
PINE: Love it.
TAY: And uh… I do have to get home to Shadow.
PINE: Okay. You are currently at a DC 15 in terms of knowledge. I’m going to lower that to- Oh wait no, you’re at a DC 12 in terms of knowledge. I’m going to lower that to 10 or higher. So flat luck check. 10 and above you can go home because you are now also casting magic with Diana.
TAY: Okay. Uh… Um… Yeah, let’s try it.
PINE: (wind chimes) So she starts doing the motions with her hands again and you copy them as she’s doing it, that purple light kind of coming into your palms meeting the orange against hers. And you roll!
TAY: Alright, here we go. Alright. If the pattern continues, this will be a 9. That! Is a 17.
PINE: Okay! So the last thing you see is that mix of purple and orange and this look of concentration on Diana’s face and you can feel that this is working. You can feel that yeah, whatever’s happening, you are going home. And you have a snap second before you disappear, is there anything you try to do or say?
TAY: Um… I would just- uh. I would say, uh… I would just say thank you and that I wish I could stay.
PINE: You see her mouth moving like she’s trying to say something back to you, but you don’t hear the words-
TAY: (crosstalk) Oh, don’t do this to me!
PINE: As orange kind of wraps you up and you fall flat on your bed, Shadow kind of jumping up and looking at you like ‘Where the hell did you come from?’
TAY: (crosstalk) She was saying like ‘Good riddance weirdo!’
TAY: Um… I think that… I, oh… Okay, well I guess okay first off is there anything unusual in my room.
PINE: Nope! Your room looks exactly the same as it always does. And you see the time on the clock reads that it is just before 7 in the morning.
TAY: Uh.. I would call out sick.
PINE: Okay. Valid!
TAY: Definitely. (laughing) Let’s be real, the wheels of capitalism often keep turning when they should not. I’m fucking calling out sick.
PINE: Okay! Actually, give me a face roll to see if your boss like ‘yeah okay’.
TAY: Oh god damn it. Okay, which one is face? The d8?
PINE: Face is a 6 but you just need a 3.
TAY: Okay. 5.
PINE: Okay. Yeah, you call your boss and are like ‘yeah I’m not coming in’ and it’s just like
BOSS: Okay! Hope you’re feeling alright and if you need more than the day just let us know. Uh, we got PTO for a reason and all that. Just make sure that you’re taking care of yourself, okay Franklin?
FRANKLIN: Thanks boss!
PINE: So you’ve called out of work.
TAY: I think- I don’t want to just end it there! I think… It’s going to be such a sad mental image but I think that Franklin would be in his room trying to do the hand thing again.
PINE: Okay. Um… Roll me fingers. I’m gonna say you’ve done this before but as far as you know there isn’t magic in your world. I’m going to reduce the DC to 9 um… You do need to put your heart into it.
TAY: Yeah, I’m putting my heart into it. Trust me. Yeah okay… Here we go. (pause) Pine.
PINE: Mmhmm.
TAY: It was a 1 and a 7.
PINE: Oh…
TAY: It was a 1 and a 7, Pine.
PINE: You see the smallest flicker of that purple. And it’s not quite as bright and it’s not quite as long lasting and you’re not certain if it was real or in your head but you see something erupt in your hand. And you see Shadow quirk his little head as if he also saw something.
TAY: I think that’s where we cut to black.
PINE: Okay! That was Pitcrawler! That I homebrewed a little bit!
TAY: That was so good! I just- oh, yeah, it’s a bittersweet ending that will emotionally honestly be with me for a few days.
PINE: Oh!
TAY: That was really good.
PINE: So that’s the thing with this show is that people fall from reality and they go home. And we don’t usually play out what happens when they go home. So when you were like ‘I don’t wanna end it here’ I was also like ‘I don’t wanna end it here’ which is usually where I end it!
TAY: (laughing)
PINE: So that was very very nice. I was so tempted to give it to you but it’s so much better if just the idea.
TAY: (crosstalk) No, it’s better if there’s the question- if there’s the idea…. Ahhh. Ahhhh! I- so I did have a very awful thought pop in my head.
PINE: Okay…
TAY: That I did not want to make canon but I was like… I was like ‘Well. If the rules were that I had to put my items around me to travel, I just have to throw up the porridge like a madman and just make a big ring out of it and it’s perfect!’
PINE: (laughing) No!
TAY: Because it’s the one thing I brought back!
PINE: One: the magic isn’t actually what sent you home. In terms of the canon of this world, uh, it was enough to get the Keeper’s attention and then they brought you home.
TAY: (crosstalk) Oh! Oh, oh, I see.
PINE: (laughing, crosstalk) In terms of the canon, the magic did not send you home–
TAY: The magic didn’t do jackshit. Oh, then what am I trying to do with the magic now? I was hoping to go back- and to be able to go back and visit!
PINE: Well that’s the fun thing! Because you got so close and because you saw that flicker of something- Within the canon of the show, there is magic everywhere. It’s not always called magic. I think the exact thing that I say in the show is that like magic and science are the same thing, it’s just different realities versions of the same thing.
TAY: Right, right.
PINE: So theoretically you could fuck up reality for a lot of reasons! Well not like fuck it up but you could in theory- Franklin could reopen the connection back to that place.
TAY: That’s what I’m gonna choose in my heart of hearts.
PINE: Yeah, you’re just gonna become a problem child for the Keeper. Like ‘How’d this guy get back here?’
TAY: Franklin’s gonna put Shadow in one of the little baby slings on his chest-
PINE: (crosstalk) Aww!
TAY: That’s the thing, he just didn’t want to leave Dustin- leave Shadow alone. But if he can bring Shadow back there it’ll be perfect. And then- and then her wife comes home and it’s like ‘Oh, oh oh. Yup.’ And he goes back.
PINE: Oh that’s so funny.
TAY: That was amazing, thank you for running that. That was super super fun.
PINE: Thank you for playing! I’m glad you had a good time. Um… I wish I made you roll more, I kind of forgot about the rolling aspect of this.
TAY: No the story was- the story was the best part, I think. I mean the world and the mechanics worked also worked very but I was getting into the story. That was fine.
PINE: Yeah, um… I’m just gonna quickly do a little, um-
TAY: Do a little spiel again?
PINE: So this was Pitcrawler, um, by MacGuffin and Company. It is a fantastic game, it is for two people which means it’s a lot easier to coordinate Pitcrawler than getting to play any other tabletop game. Um, I did homebrew a mechanic. Fun fact for you, actually, Tay, is that all of the realities, all of the people are named after my friends. So I just pulled all of my friends’ names and all of the stuff related to it is stuff that they like or stuff that reminded me of them.
TAY: Wait do you have a friend Diana who likes spiders?
PINE: No, I have a friend Diana from Kentucky where the Kentucky Derby happens and I was like what if I just made a fucked up horse.
TAY: (laughing) I really like- I really like the starting point of a world being ‘What if fucked up horse?’ And then everything else builds off of that.
PINE: So here’s the thing, horses do scare me. And so do spiders!
TAY: (crosstalk) Oh they’re terrifying! You know their legs are fingers, right?
PINE: So I was like ‘what if I-’ –What?
TAY: There’s like a whole- There’s a whole MBMBAM bit about how- wait, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, ‘horse legs are fingers’- I’m just googling this to make sure I’m not absolutely insane.
PINE: Yeah, how the, uh, the- it’s their fingernails. Yeah, yeah it’s messed up.
TAY: Basically how the bones are separated from the knee down is basically just a middle finger.
PINE: Yeah, yeah, it’s messed up. Horses are messed up. And so I was like- which, uh, the world that you were in because I give each world like a geographical trait, I was like ‘Eh, this place is just Kentucky. This place is straight up just called Kentucky’ and if you got to that point I was gonna mention that it was just called Kentucky which is why they had these fucked up horses.
TAY: (crosstalk, laughing) Oh, why did not- why did I not ask what the world was called? Oh that’s so good.
PINE: Well like the village that they were in that’s next to the town. But still, you did not ask where you were. And I did shoehorn in um the orange bells.
TAY: (crosstalk) Oh that’s so good. ‘Where are we? We’re in Kentucky.’
PINE: (laughing) I’m just picturing Franklin from Boston being like ‘What do you mean we’re in Kentucky?’
TAY: And then- And then in his mind there is that little bit of questioning that’s like ‘I’m not really insulated in Massachusetts, am I?’
PINE: (Laughin) Yes you are.
TAY: Oh god.
PINE: Thank you so much Taylor for playing and thank you for listening. We’re going to be doing a couple of these in the lead up to season 2 which I’m so excited about because I have a great cast and I’m so excited to be bringing more of the story. But until next time, I will hope to see you on the Fringes again soon!
TAY: Bye!
(Our lovely outro tune by Gerard Coleman [G.T.X.C Music] plays)
PINE: Hey y’all, it’s Pine again. I wanted to say one last thank you to everyone for listening, a massive thank you to Taylor for playing with me today, and a huge thank you to the fine folks at MacGuffin and Company for allowing me to use the quickstart. Like I said in the show, it is one of my favorite games that I’ve played, I really really love getting to play Pitcrawler and getting to share Pitcrawler with people. I also want to remind y’all that our incredible theme and outro music are by my dear friend Gerard Coleman who you can find on SoundCloud at G.T.X.C Music. Thank you again for joining us! I hope to see y’all on the Fringes again soon!
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