CALLIOPE: The name of the game today, my dear listeners, is parallelism. We have done this before, showing you the growing relationships between Ares and Hermes contrasted against Aphrodite and Hephaestus. And as you may remember, this is a love story; Aphrodite and Hephaestus’s love story, to be more specific. What better way to see their growing love than to show it to you contrasted against our already dating gods?
Welcome, dear listeners, to Forged Bonds.
We shall start in the same place we shall end: with Aphrodite and Hephaestus.
HEPHAESTUS: Not that I’m not thrilled to see you, but what are you doing here?
APHRODITE: Ares and Hermes are having a date night. And since everything isn’t public yet, they can only have dates at one of our homes. And since Hermes wanted to see Dipper–
HEPHAESTUS: And who can blame him for that?
APHRODITE: (laughing) No one could blame him for that. But it does mean I’m out of the house for a little bit. I thought about going to Arte’s, but well…
HEPHAESTUS: Well?
APHRODITE: I missed you.
HEPHAESTUS: (taken aback, flustered) Oh! I- I missed you too.
CALLIOPE: Historians would blame the color in the goddesses cheeks as a result of the warmth of the forge, but you and I both know what was truly at root there, dear listeners. And if they just stared fondly at each other for a long moment, well, who could blame them for that?
APHRODITE: Anyway, um… Did you ever finish that sculpture? The one you were working on the night before Ares asked for a divorce. We had been talking about braiding–
HEPHAESTUS: Oh, yeah, that I… I ended up scrapping it.
APHRODITE: What?!
HEPHAESTUS: I just couldn’t get the face right so I scrapped it. I’ll probably try again sometime but I just… I couldn’t keep looking at it, you know? It was a project that I couldn’t figure out and staring at it only made it worse so I had to get rid of it.
APHRODITE: I’m sorry that you had to scrap all of that work. I know you had been working on it for a while and to know it’s just gone…
CALLIOPE: Now seems like a good time to tell you that the statue wasn’t, in fact, scrapped. Despite Hephaestus’s pleading, Dionysus wouldn’t allow for that. The statue is currently hiding in Dionysus’s spare room, the cats occasionally sitting at the base of the statue and warming the metal with their fuzzy little bodies.
HEPHAESTUS: It’s alright, there will be other projects to work on and other things to craft. I haven’t given up on human sculpture all together, I just need a little break. I can show you what I’m working on now though, if you’d like.
APHRODITE: Of course I would!
CALLIOPE: The theme of this episode is parallelism, dear listeners. Which means we need to cut somewhere else to begin truly making this point. The good news is Hermes has just arrived at Ares and Aphrodite’s home, giving us the perfect opportunity to stop by.
ARES: Oh thank the gods you’re finally here, I feel like I’ve been waiting forever.
HERMES: (laughing) You just saw me yesterday, Air.
ARES: And I missed you!
HERMES: (fondly) I missed you too.
DIPPER: (bear noises)
HERMES: And I’ve missed you, Dipper! Who’s the best bear in the land?
ARES: Hey!
HERMES: Who’s the best animal bear in the land?
DIPPER: (bear noises)
HERMES: That’s right, it’s you!
ARES: (faux offense) And what about your favorite human bear, hmm? Does he get any love?
HERMES: You already have all of my heart, Ares, don’t you worry. And no, I’m not just dating you for your bear. Although he is a perk of dating you.
(both laugh)
HERMES (CONT.): So where’s Aph?
ARES: She went to see Hephaestus. Said she wanted to give us some time alone and also that she ‘didn’t want to hear anything that may or may not happen’.
HERMES: (laughing) Well I can’t say I’m opposed to having the house to ourselves. Even if we don’t do that, it’s nice to be able to kiss you without feeling like I have to watch for Aphrodite’s judgement.
ARES: So why aren’t you kissing me then?
CALLIOPE: The grin on Hermes’ face was indulgent and dripping with fondness as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Ares. They didn’t linger long in the kiss, but it was long enough that I will move us swiftly along.
HERMES: So what have you been doing today besides missing me?
ARES: (teasing) Well, that did take up a lot of time… But I’ve been teaching Dipper a couple new tricks if you’d like to see those.
HERMES: Of course I would!
CALLIOPE: With that, we will cut back across Olympus to our two goddesses who are currently cooking dinner together.
APHRODITE: Your cabinets are atrociously organized. I mean seriously, Phae, how do you find a single spice in here?
HEPHAESTUS: The garlic salt is on the second shelf near the back of the cabinet. He lives there so I can always remember where he is.
APHRODITE: So you’ll personify your seasonings but you won’t organize them?
HEPHAESTUS: Organization is for people who have the will.
APHRODITE: If we’re going to keep cooking together, I’m going to organize your spice cabinet. I’ll bring in nice little racks and everything. Hell, I bet you could make a wonderful spice rack so you don’t have to dig through everything in your cabinets to get to the garlic salt.
HEPHAESTUS: (in awe) You… You want to cook with me again?
APHRODITE: Why wouldn’t I?
HEPHAESTUS: (playing it off) Maybe because my spices are such a mess?
APHRODITE: Well I’ve already proposed the solution to that problem. I love your company, Phae. You know that. (pause) You do know that, right? Or do we have to have the whole “people love and care about you” conversation again, because I will–
HEPHAESTUS: (laughing) Yes, Aph, I know you love my company. I love yours too. Spending time with you is… There’s nothing quite like it. I feel really lucky to get to.
APHRODITE: If anyone is lucky here, it’s me. You… You let me into your life, Phae. After not letting anyone into your life for a really long time. The fact that I get to spend time with you at all is a gift, and it’s the one good thing to come out of this stupid wedding. I’ll never get Olympus to stop talking about me, but at least I get you.
HEPHAESTUS: We get to have each other. From here on out, we’ll always have each other.
CALLIOPE: And if our goddesses swayed a little closer to each other at that, hands almost meeting each other before they jumped back, well, that was something just for them. We shall take this moment to move our way back over to our gods, who are also in the process of cooking together.
HERMES: Your spices are remarkably well organized. I take it that’s Aphrodite’s doing?
ARES: I could organize spices if I wanted to! But yes, it’s Aph’s doing; I got used to it pretty quickly.
HERMES: But could you keep it up if Aph wasn’t around?
ARES: What are you implying?
HERMES: Well… While you could live with Aphrodite forever I was thinking that, at some point, we would move in together without her? Not that I don’t love Aph! She’s incredible and she’s your friend and I care about her, but maybe someday it could just be us two?
ARES: You would want that? With me?
HERMES: Why wouldn’t I? You know I love you, right?
ARES: Of course I do, and I love you too, I just… Still get surprised sometimes. That this is happening and that it feels like it’s permanent. Which is a wild thing to say since this is still so new and forever is a long time when you’re immortal but I think it’s where we’re headed.
HERMES: We have each other, Air. From here on out, we’ll always have each other. And I promise you that.
ARES: How did I get so lucky?
HERMES: I could ask myself the same thing. I never thought I’d get to have this, to have you. With as much love as I felt for you… It never felt like this could be possible. But now we’re here and Ares I’ll be damned if I let you go after this.
ARES: You’ll have a hard time getting rid of me now. Once it clicked it… It clicked. Forever, if you’ll have me. If I could be so lucky to have you forever.
HERMES: We can circle for hours talking about who is the lucky one here or you could kiss me before we burn our food.
CALLIOPE: Ares was never one to back down from a challenge, leaning forward to press his lips against Hermes. The two gods pulled apart from each other with matching smiles, pressed shoulder to shoulder as they continued to cook. We are going to stay here for a moment with Ares and Hermes, though we will move forward past their dinner to when they are seated on the couch, with as little space as possible left between them.
ARES: I’m sorry, Dipper, you’re just too big for the couch.
DIPPER: (sad bear noises)
ARES: I know, I’m sad about it too, buddy, but this has been true for years now.
HERMES: Aww, look at him 😦 Clearly you need to get a bigger couch.
ARES: Maybe when we move in together we can do that. A couch big enough for a fully grown bear to sit on with us.
HERMES: You joke but I know Hephaestus could at least craft the frame for that. And Dipper deserves to be able to get couch cuddles, don’t you think?
ARES: (fondly) Yeah, I guess you’re right. But for now, you’ll have to contend with only your human bear to cuddle with, will that suffice?
HERMES: (teasing) Hmmm, I don’t know… Are you as cute as Dipper is? Maybe I’ll just lay on top of Dipper instead, he can definitely handle my weight–
CALLIOPE: If you asked our dear god of war whether or not he was jealous of his pet bear, well, he would tell you no. But whether or not that was the truth of the matter is another story. Just know that at the mere thought of losing contact with Hermes, Ares pulled the messenger god into his arms, both of them collapsing onto the couch in a fit of laughter.
ARES: You’re staying right here in my arms.
HERMES: There’s no place I’d rather be.
CALLIOPE: We shall move back across Olympus for the final time today, back into the home of Hephaestus. She and Aphrodite are seated on the couch, a small amount of space between them, one they were both trying to surreptitiously close. It starts with feet accidentally bumping into each other which turns to hands in the small space between them, fingers lightly brushing. Soon they’re scooting closer to each other, still talking animatedly as the gap closes.
APHRODITE: (yawning) Gods, what time is it? I should probably be heading home, I’m sure Ares and Hermes are at the very least in their room by now.
HEPHAESTUS: It’s pretty late, are you sure you don’t just wanna stay?
APHRODITE: I wouldn’t want to intrude–
HEPHAESTUS: You’re not intruding, I’m offering. I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want you here, you know that. And you’re asleep on your feet, Aph, I wouldn’t feel right letting you walk home like this since you seem liable to fall asleep in a bush. Ares would kill me if I let that happen.
APHRODITE: (giggling) I’m not that tired Phae. I would make it home and not allow Ares to kill you. But if you really don’t mind–
HEPHAESTUS: I don’t.
APHRODITE: –then I’d appreciate being able to stay the night. Let me just text Ares so he doesn’t get worried.
CALLIOPE: Hephaestus went to go and grab spare bedding to set up the couch when she paused. It wasn’t uncommon for friends to share a bed– she and Dionysus had just done that, after all. And she knew her couch wasn’t the best for sleeping on. The few times she had fallen asleep on her couch, she had woken up with regrets. And she couldn’t subject Aphrodite to that.
APHRODITE: Alright, all cleared away with Ares so he doesn’t come hunting me down. Do you have a blanket or anything that I can use on the couch?
HEPHAESTUS: About that… That couch is really bad for sleeping on. I slept on it a couple times after I started transitioning because I was too tired to move and it’s not comfortable. Like at all.
APHRODITE: (kinda sad) Oh. Okay, then. I’ll just let Ares know I’m coming home after all–
HEPHAESTUS: I didn’t say you had to go! Just that you shouldn’t sleep on the couch.
APHRODITE: Well, there’s not really another place for me to sleep, now, is there?
HEPHAESTUS: Of course there is. You can sleep with me.
APHRODITE: (flustered) Are- are you sure? Again, I’d hate to impose–
HEPHAESTUS: (more confident than she feels) Aph. I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t mean it. Di and I share the bed all the time and it’s way more comfortable than the couch is. (pause) But if you’re uncomfortable–
APHRODITE: No! No, not uncomfortable, just… I just wanted to make sure this isn’t an imposition.
HEPHAESTUS: (so fond) Of course it isn’t. Come on, let’s get you into bed.
CALLIOPE: Aphrodite allowed herself to be sleepily led towards the bedroom, immediately crawling under the covers once she got there. And if Hephaestus stopped to stare fondly after her, well. That was her right. Sliding into bed beside Aphrodite, Hephaestus clicked the light off.
HEPHAESTUS: Goodnight, Dite.
APHRODITE: Goodnight, Phae.
CALLIOPE: And as our goddesses drift off to sleep, dreams of each other swirling in their minds, we will draw this episode to a close. I hope you enjoyed this game of parallels, my dear listeners. Until next time, and as always, thank you for listening.
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