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CALLIOPE: You may recall my statement that this story is several love stories in a trench coat. And you may have assumed that this meant a focus on romantic love, which to be fair we do have a heavy focus on. But those are not the only kinds of love stories out there, my dear listeners. So for today, we will let romance take a back seat and focus in on love stories with just as much weight to them.

Welcome, dear listeners, to Forged Bonds.

One of the many love stories this trench coat is holding is a familial one. We will start our day in the Underworld with a mother and daughter catching up about anything and everything.

HEPHAESTUS: I swear, mom, you should see how Hermes has been behaving lately. I’m surprised that he hasn’t run directly into a pole given how moony eyed he is over Ares. (fondly) It’s absolutely sickening.

HERA: Ah, yes, the early relationship fog. I remember when your uncle first started seeing Persephone; you would’ve thought that he was seeing the sun for the first time in his life with how focused he was on her. He still looks at her like that, now that I think about it. Their spark hasn’t died and I doubt Ares and Hermes will either.

HEPHAESTUS: You really believe that?

HERA: Not every marriage is like me and Zeus. In fact, most of them aren’t. Look at Ares and Aph! They got married totally platonically and are now getting the world’s most amicable divorce. Relationships, in any form, aren’t always heartache and ruin. If I can believe that, you should believe it too.

HEPHAESTUS: (joking as a diversion) How do you know I don’t believe it, hmm? Maybe I was just asking because I think you’re secretly rooting against them! Maybe you’re trying to get the record for marriages and divorces within a year, I don’t know. 

HERA: Phae you are my daughter and I love you so very dearly. You’re also a shit liar and I will call you out on it. What’s actually going on, Phae, because as much as every mother wants to be able to read minds, we can’t actually do so.

HEPHAESTUS: (lying) Nothing is going on.

HERA: Don’t make me call you a shit liar again, Phae. I’ll do it but I’ll feel bad about it.

HEPHAESTUS: …How are Ares and Aph’s divorce papers going?

HERA: (catching on) Everything should be finalized in a couple of weeks I think. Because everything is so amicable on account of them not actually being married for the reasons people usually get married for, it’s been very easy to go through the process of getting the divorce. There will have to be a small ceremony for me to break the blessing over their marriage and Zeus is dragging his feet about it, but he can’t force them to stay married even if he wants to. Why? Did someone happen to catch your eye in our happily divorced couple?

HEPHAESTUS: That would be ridiculous of course not. I mean, Ares is my friend and all but he’s taken and really not my type.

HERA: And Aphrodite?

HEPHAESTUS: Is my friend. Which is more than enough. It’s more than I deserve, even.

HERA: Honey…

HEPHAESTUS: (growing more frantic as she speaks) I mean, she’s the beautiful and lovely and funny and kind goddess of love and I’m just– I’m just Hephaestus. It would be silly for me to develop any kind of feelings for her when she could have anyone and I’m just me. It wouldn’t make sense for us to get together, no matter what Di says, so why would I bother falling in love with her when it will only end in disaster and I can just take my friendship with her and cherish that the way it deserves to be cherished because she’s just. So good. She’s so wonderful, mom, and I can’t– I won’t– do anything that threatens our friendship. So I can’t be in love with her, it would be absolutely ridiculous for me to be and insinuating that I am is just. Fully incorrect. 

HERA: You know you’re allowed to want things, right?

HEPHAESTUS: Mom–

HERA: You’re allowed to want things. You’re allowed to want her. Even if you think that it will end poorly– which you have no proof to say that it would– you’re allowed to want. Wanting and doing are different things; you can want something to change and not take the steps to make them change. You can love Aphrodite without trying to be in a romantic relationship with her. Which I’m sure Dionysus has told you, if there’s one thing that boy is good at it’s talking you out of your own head. I’m not going to bother telling you that you’re also wonderful and kind and funny and every other good thing under the sun because I’m your mother and you won’t believe me anyway. But Phae, if you don’t believe that you’re wonderful, at least believe that you’re allowed to want. Even if it’s scary, even if it might hurt, you’re allowed to want something without feeling bad about it. 

HEPHAESTUS: But what if wanting this ruins us? She’s my friend, mom, and I love her so much as my friend. Why want for more when I’m perfectly satisfied with what I have? 

HERA: I was satisfied with Zeus. I know, it sounds silly given how he was, but I was satisfied because it was all I had known. And when things started to crumble, I started to want something more and felt bad about it because what kind of wife would I be if I didn’t love my husband? Never mind that my husband didn’t love me, it was what I felt I deserved. You shouldn’t have to live with my mistakes, Phae, not if I can stop you from making them. You deserve the world in whatever way you want it. And if you don’t want to change your relationship with Aph, that’s fine; but don’t make yourself feel guilty for loving her. You deserve to love and to be loved in whatever way you want to be. 

HEPHAESTUS: And if I’m scared?

HERA: Sometimes you have to do the things that make you scared. I mean, look at me, Phae. I left Zeus and I was terrified. Even being here, I’m still always scared that I’m going to wake up to this all having been a dream. But I still took that leap. You can also take that leap if you want to. And whether you do or you don’t, I’ll be here for you. I’m never letting anything or anyone take me from you again. 

CALLIOPE: The downside of the audio medium is that you cannot see the way Hera pulled Hephaestus into her arms, running fingers through her daughter’s hair and whispering reassurances into her ear. You cannot see the way Hephaestus squeezed her mother, eyes shining with unshed tears. You cannot see the way that they love each other, even after years of distance at the hands of a man who never truly cared about either of them. But that is why I’m here, my dear listeners, to provide you with that which you cannot see. I am also here to advance our story to a different section of the Underworld– a kitchen this time, where Hades and Persephone had just welcomed Poseidon in for afternoon drinks. 

PERSEPHONE: Hmm, you seemed very chipper when you called, Si. And you called me instead of your brother, which can only mean one thing as far as I’m concerned: this is a matter that requires a more delicate approach. Am I right?

HADES: (faux offense) I can handle things delicately!

PERSEPHONE: (teasing) I don’t know, my love. If we’re getting into it, I would say you can handle the dead delicately, I can handle the living. You put spirits to rest and I make flowers bloom– two sides of an equally important but delicate balance that need each other to survive. I’m simply assuming that your brother will need more help with the living this time around rather than the dead. Of course, if that’s not the case–

POSEIDON: It’s definitely a case with the living. And I was hoping to talk to you privately, Sephie. There are some things you don’t really need your older brother involved with, ya know?

HADES: Sephie and I don’t really keep secrets from each other. Also you had been on speaker phone and had plowed into your request before she could warn you, so it’s really on you that I’m here.

POSEIDON: Hades can you promise to be normal about this and not immediately go full older brother on me or whatever?

HADES: I can certainly try my best.

PERSEPHONE: Darling, please.

HADES: Fine, yes, I promise. 

PERSEPHONE: Thank you, love. So, Poseidon: what brings you to our corner of Olympus in such a tizzy?

POSEIDON: Okay, so, you’ve done the whole… Falling in love thing, right? I mean, obviously, right, you’re so married that you’re both here– Sorry. I– I’m nervous, I’m sorry, this is. Okay. You’ve clearly fallen in love with each other and that’s all fine and good and everything. How did you do that?

PERSEPHONE: You want to hear how your brother and I fell in love? 

POSEIDON: If you don’t mind?

HADES: Are you… Are you falling in love with someone, Si?

POSEIDON: I’m trying to find out if that’s even a thing I can do. I mean, the two of you know all of the messier parts of my past ‘relationships’. I’ll never forgive myself for what happened with Medusa, I– (sigh) I just want to know what it’s supposed to be like. To hear it from the two of you and to see if it’s even something I can allow myself to want. 

HADES: Si–

POSEIDON: Okay so you promised not to go all older brother on me, and it feels like you’re about to, so please don’t. Not– not right now. Just wait til after.

HADES: …Okay. Beloved, would you like to start?

PERSEPHONE: I would be delighted; you know how much I love telling this story, love. Let’s see… I was strolling through a field of flowers one bright spring day, just encouraging them to bloom a little brighter, grow a little bit taller– It’s one of my favorite pastimes, I love  to see them glow when I speak to them. I approached a bush and didn’t notice a lip. I tripped, stumbled, and fell into a pit. That pit, as it turned out, was an entrance to the Underworld. I was horrified, scared, terrified of what this could mean. I thought for a moment that I was dead for sure, but of course I wasn’t– immortality doesn’t really allow for that, so… Hades found me limping through the Underworld searching for a way out. He bandaged me up, asked how I got there, he promised to close that hole so I wouldn’t get hurt, but I didn’t want him to. I wanted it to stay open. I wanted an escape, something I could do to get away from the burning sun and my mother’s intense gaze. It actually started as just that. It was only a place for me to visit to get away for a moment. Every time Hades would sit next to me, we’d have tea and pomegranate seeds and talk about anything and everything. Sometimes it was rants about my mother, other time it was the news or the birds (laugh) It didn’t really matter because I loved those conversations. He always made me feel incredibly comfortable and seen– Your brother is remarkably sweet, I hope you know that, Si. Where my mother looked at me and just saw herself, Hades looked at me and saw me. It was easier than anything I;ve ever done to fall in love with him. Honestly, I’m not sure I could’ve avoided it if I tried (giggle). Not one of the thousands of suitors my mother presented to me looked at me with the same level of kindness and care Hades did. None of them made me laugh and blush and feel like I mattered the way he did. Only him. Only ever him. So one night– while I was forcibly eating dinner with yet another suitor– I got up and I ran straight to that hole to the Underworld and fell in. He caught me, just like he had been catching my heart for months. I didn’t see it coming, it just felt so right. I never once looked back, and I have never once had a single regrets. 

POSEIDON: And you, Hades?

HADES: The daughter of a woman who hates me fell into my domain and I tried to do the polite thing and patch her up, sending her back to her mom with a promise of sealing off that entrance so she wouldn’t get stuck down here again. But this beautiful, radiant goddess said no. She said that she liked it down here, that wandering through the halls of the Underworld had felt right to her. If I told you that I fell in love right then and there, you wouldn’t believe me but it was true. No one else had ever felt at home in this place besides me; and then came Persephone, in all of her glory, feeling at home just as quickly as I did. And she meant it when she said that she was coming back. She came day after day, week after week, month after month, and I fell a bit deeper in love with her every time. It was just good fortune that I happened to be walking past that entrance when Persephone ran from whatever suitor Demeter was trying to force onto her. She fell through and I caught her in my arms and knew then and there that I never wanted to let her go again. 

POSEIDON: …You both were so sure of yourselves with this.

PERSEPHONE: I like to think so. But you know, Si, love doesn’t have to be a sure thing. I feel like it rarely is, actually. It can be a small spark that grows larger. More often than not, it is something that grows over time and you can become more and more sure it will stay.

HADES: I know you told me not to go all ‘older brother’ on you–

POSEIDON: (fondly resigned) Yeah, yeah, and you’re gonna do it anyway, right?

HADES: I am. Because it sounds like you’re beating yourself up for things you did in the past that you don’t need to. I know your relationships were messy, Si; you spent enough time with Zeus that that was bound to happen. But I also know that when you left, you were trying to become better. And I don’t doubt for a second that you did. Zeus would never feel bad for what happened with Medusa, but you do. You can’t take back what happened, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn and grow and move forward.

PERSEPHONE: It also doesn’t mean that you’re unworthy of love, Si. In whatever form you’re looking for it in.

HADES: Even when you were gone, I still loved you, Si. I still love you now. You’re my brother and despite everything in our past you mean the world to me. Just ask Sephie, you coming back into my life… I haven’t been this happy since Sephie and I got married. 

PERSEPHONE: Oh, it’s true, let me tell you– he has been incredibly soppy about it ever since you decided to grace us with your presence again. He’s very happy to have his baby brother back. And– if I’m being selfish– I’m happy too because it means I get to know you better now than I ever did before you left. You know, I know Hera feels the same way too– (conspiratorially) in fact, she feels a lot more things about this situation than I do.

POSEIDON: Was I that obvious about Hera?

HADES: You asked me to add a link to your door, Si. You wouldn’t do that for just anyone. 

PERSEPHONE: I know she’s interested too. You should’ve seen the look on her face when she came back. She was all blushy and smiling more than I had seen her smile in ages. She said that you were ‘lovely’ and got this absurdly fond look in her eyes…

POSEIDON: (fondly) Yeah I kinda got that impression before she left. It was just… So unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. I felt like she saw me, saw past my past and just saw me. I fully get what you mean by that, Sephie, and it’s… I want to hold onto that feeling, I want to make her feel like that, I want… I want her. 

PERSEPHONE: So what’s stopping you?

POSEIDON: I… I don’t know. Zeus, maybe? What if I’m destined to be just like him and I hurt her?

HADES: You’re not, though. I already told you, Si, Zeus wouldn’t care this much. He’s never cared this much. You’re already leagues ahead of him, don’t let him stop you from finding the happiness you deserve.

POSEIDON: And if I don’t deserve it?

PERSEPHONE: Have you ever considered that you do?

POSEIDON: Not one time ever in my life.

HADES: Well, as your older brother it’s my job to tell you that you deserve it and then some. Don’t stand in the way of your own happiness, Si. You deserve to grab happiness with both hands and hold onto it.

CALLIOPE: You’ll recall, dear listeners, that this is an audio medium and it does not allow for you to view the way that Hades wraps his arms around his little brother, Persephone’s arms quickly following until they were surrounding him on all sides. It doesn’t allow you to see the way Poesidon’s face went from surprised to sad to relaxed all in the blink of an eye. It doesn’t allow you to see the way that Hades presses his lips to his brother’s head and tell him that he’ll always be there for him, or the way that Persephone’s lips press to Poseidon’s shoulder in the same manner. It doesn’t let you see the love that had finally found its way back into the heart of the sea god who had run from Olympus so long ago that he couldn’t remember the last time anyone held him with any sort of fondness. Of course, that is what I’m here for; I’m here to let you picture siblings promising care and comfort even if you cannot see it with your own eyes. 

I am also here, of course, to move you to our final scene of the day. We will venture to the home of Artemis and Apollo– currently Apollo-less– where Artemis and Aphrodite are sitting on the couch together.

APHRODITE: Apollo not joining us today then?

ARTEMIS: Nah, he’s hanging out with Dionysus today. I think he said something about cats?

APHRODITE: Oh, yeah, Di has a bunch of cats! Well. He has two cats and a bunch of cats have Dionysus, really. From what Phae tells me they come and go as they please but have chosen Di as their home.

ARTEMIS: That sounds about right for cats. And for Dionysus, come to think about it. He probably likes that they feel comfortable enough to leave and come back to him without making any demands.

APHRODITE: Oh, the cats make plenty of demands, usually just for food or to be pet. But they are a demanding bunch for sure. Then again, not every pet can be Dipper.

ARTEMIS: I’m still not over the bear not being a prank. I really thought Ares was trying to trick me with that but no, I missed out on the chance to have a pet bear. (pause) Although a bear would be a bit cumbersome if I was out hunting. They’re not known for their stealth, just their size. Perhaps it’s for the best. 

APHRODITE: You can always come over to visit Dipper. Air and I have been living together for so long that we’re not splitting up our house just because of the fake real divorce. 

ARTEMIS: How is that going by the way? 

APHRODITE: Not bad, all things considered. The press is still annoying, but Air and Hermes are happy so I can’t complain. Plus with Hermes being around more, we’re cooking more to feed three people which means there are usually leftovers because portions for four are less annoying to cook which means there’s usually a day or two each week where we don’t even have to cook, it’s great. 

ARTEMIS: (laughing) The true benefit of the arrangement was gaining a roommate.

APHRODITE: Maybe the real marriage was the roommates we made along the way.

ARTEMIS: Now that you’ve freed yourself from Ares, do you think you’ll try dating again? 

APHRODITE: (teasing) Artemis? Willingly asking about a relationship? Who are you and what have you done with my aroace bestie?

ARTEMIS: (laughing) I would ask about your relationships from time to time! (pause) Usually just to see if I need to shoot anyone with arrows, but still! I don’t mind talking about it with you because I know that you won’t push me to do anything I don’t wanna do. Plus it’s kinda fun to hear about all of the messiness of relationships when you’re not the one in them. I don’t have to worry about the drama, I can just watch it unfold.

APHRODITE: That is true, you just get to see everything that happens. I don’t know if I’ll start dating but… 

ARTEMIS: Aphrodite, goddess of love, my best friend since childhood: have you caught feelings for someone? Did your brother shoot you with one of your own arrows?

APHRODITE: Maybe?

ARTEMIS: Aph.

APHRODITE: Gods I can’t believe I’m doing this again, Ares already let me gush about her like a mortal preteen–

ARTEMIS: Her, huh? So Hephaestus has taken your fancy?

APHRODITE: “Taken my fancy” what, are we sixty years old now?

ARTEMIS: That’s a lot younger than we are, Aph.

APHRODITE: (laughing) You know what I mean. But to answer your question: yes, she’s ‘taken my fancy’. She’s just… Incredible, Arte. Sweet and funny and pretty and buff as hell– (teasing) Just like you.

ARTEMIS: (laughing) Oh shut up. I only talked to her for a little bit, but she seems lovely. Are you going to ask her out? Or do anything about these feelings at all? 

APHRODITE: I don’t know just yet. It’s all… It’s all so new to me. I know what love is supposed to be like in the abstract– literally the goddess of it after all– but the feeling is… Different. And I don’t know what I want to do with that just yet.

ARTEMIS: Makes sense. If I were in your situation, I would definitely be taking the time to think it through. And maybe you’ll decide you don’t want to do anything about it, that’s okay too.

APHRODITE: Ares said the same thing.

ARTEMIS: He can be wise sometimes. On a rare day. A very rare day. 

APHRODITE: Enough about me and my divorce and my– about Hephaestus. How are things with you going? I feel like we haven’t been able to talk much, I’m really sorry.

ARTEMIS: It’s alright, Aph. I know you still care about me even when we can’t talk. Apollo had a little freak out over that recently, actually. He was worried that I felt left out because he was spending time with Dionysus. And yeah, it’s a little weird to not have him constantly around, but he’s still around most of the time and it’s not like he’s trying to exclude me. I know he loves me, even if we’re not hanging out as much as we did before. Just like I know you love me, even when you’re not able to talk much because you’re trying to get Circe to provide some warding to keep the press off your lawn. I appreciate the apology, but it isn’t necessary. I know you care, you constantly show me you care. I mean, you organized a whole party to get me to hang out with your friends, that’s how much you care. And you never pressure me to do things, you just… You come and exist with me on my terms. And I appreciate that.

APHRODITE: Well, if it ever feels like I’m not spending enough time with you–

ARTEMIS: Trust me, Aph. I’d let you know. Just like I’d let Pollo know. (pause) If you ever feel like I’m being dismissive or distant–

APHRODITE: I’d let you know too. I promise.

ARTEMIS: (joking) Look at us, talking about our feelings. Bet you didn’t expect that when you came over today.

APHRODITE: (joking) I mostly expected for Apollo to come and steal our popcorn. Speaking of, do you want to pick out a movie while I start the popcorn?

ARTEMIS: I can make the popcorn, it’s my house–

APHRODITE: And we both know I make better popcorn than you so shut up and pick a movie out.

CALLIOPE: I will remind you, for the last time today, that since this is an audio medium, you are not able to see the way Artemis gets up and follows after Aphrodite. You’re not able to see the way she wraps her arms around Aphrodite, squeezing her once before letting go. You’re not able to see the way Aphrodite turns around, grabbing Artemis’s hand and squeezing it with the same amount of care, before letting go with a smile and starting on popcorn. But that, of course, is why I’m here. To share these moments with you and to remind you that friendships can be as long lasting and wonderful as Artemis and Aphrodite’s is. 

I am also here to wrap up our story for the day. This time I shall leave you with a reminder, my dear listeners: those you love don’t always have to be loved romantically. We Greeks had seven different forms of love, after all, each falling into a different area of life. Just remember to tell those you care about that you care about them; they deserve to know it, just as you deserve to hear how much you’re cared about in return. Until next time, and as always, thank you for listening.