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CALLIOPE: The passage of time is nothing to an immortal being. This story could take place over days or centuries and it would pass all the same for them. What matters is that time is passing, and it is starting to pass in ways that Aphrodite in particular is aware of.

Welcome, dear listeners, to Forged Bonds. 

We rejoin our story at an indeterminate time with Aphrodite who is currently making lunch with Artemis and Apollo.

APHRODITE: What do you mean people want to see me out with Ares more? Aren’t they over this already?

ARTEMIS: It’s only been a couple months, Aph. They’re still holding on pretty tightly to the story I’m sorry to say. 

APOLLO: I thought you usually kept up with this kind of thing?

APHRODITE: At some point I just… figured it would stop and stopped checking. It’s only been a couple of months? 

APOLLO: About five. 

ARTEMIS: And they’re still acting like it’s been five days. You’d think they’d have something more interesting to talk about. Like Athena’s new infrastructure initiative that she’s working on with Hestia, or Iris’s attempts to take some of the postal work off of Hermes, but they’re dead silent on all of that.

APOLLO: That’s because that’s real news, something these people have never cared about. It doesn’t sell papers to talk about how some people are trying to make Olympus a better run place. If anything, I’d put money on Zeus actively trying to keep those stories out of the paper.

APHRODITE: Yeah, that sounds about right. The more eyes on me, the less eyes on him and his failings as a leader. Not a single one of those initiatives is being spearheaded by the so-called king of the gods. He’s not in it to make this place better, if that were the case then Phae– (sigh) It doesn’t matter. 

ARTEMIS: Do you think Hephaestus would come back if Olympus was less… Olympus? 

APHRODITE I don’t know. Probably not. She’s… She’s content out there, I think. No one bothers her.

APOLLO: (teasing) Except for you.

APHRODITE: Do either of you ever talk to her? I know you all talked a bit at the wedding but…

APOLLO: We don’t really know each other that well. Or at least, I don’t know her that well. I suppose I shouldn’t speak for my sister even if I’m fairly certain I’m correct.

ARTEMIS: You are correct. The only person I ever really spent time with outside of Apollo was you. It would be nice to get to know Hephaestus, but I don’t know that she’d really be interested in that.

APHRODITE: I don’t think she would necessarily be opposed to it. She’s… She’s just cautious, that’s all. She’s always felt a bit left out– a lot left out. I guess it’s hard not to given what Zeus did to her… But anyway, it’s not that she doesn’t want to have friends, it’s that she just. Doesn’t trust it all the time. Gods, I mean, she didn’t even think I wanted her at my wedding, as if the time we had been spending together had meant nothing to me. I– (another sigh) I’ll talk to her. About both of you. See if she’d be open to hanging out. I’ll talk to Dionysus too, he’s usually able to convince her to spend time with people.

ARTEMIS: (matter of factly) You care about her a lot, don’t you?

APHRODITE: Of course I do. She’s my friend.

APOLLO: She’s lucky to have a friend like you. (pause) So are we, if that wasn’t obvious already. 

APHRODITE: Don’t you go getting emotional on me right now, Pollo, I can’t take that.

ARTEMIS: It’s true though. 

APHRODITE: Arte–

ARTEMIS: Just listen to me, Aph. It’s been a tough year for you, we both know that. I thought I was going to have to fight Ares to the death on your behalf–

APOLLO: And then thought she’d have to fight Zeus on your behalf.

ARTEMIS: And I would’ve. But that’s besides the point. The point is… The point is that we care about you. And that we’re here if you need us.

APOLLO: Whether the year is great or terrible, you’ll have us by your side. And Ares. And Hephaestus. We’ll all be here for you. So when the papers won’t shut up–

ARTEMIS: Or our father tries to rope you into another scheme–

APOLLO: Or Ares turns out to be a secret villain–

APHRODITE: He would never!

ARTEMIS: But if he did, we’d be here.

APHRODITE: (laughing) What brought all of this on? The two of you aren’t usually this… 

APOLLO: Lovey-dovey?

APHRODITE: (blandly) Haha. 

ARTEMIS: Zeus came around recently asking about what happened at the wedding. I can only assume he’s been making his round and, well, after everything that happened with the wedding–

APHRODITE: You wanted to make sure he’s not trying to use me. Again. 

APOLLO: And we want you to know that you’ll have support if you decide to kill him. Or, well. I don’t think you’d immediately jump to murder, that’s more Artemis’s bag– She shot him. 

ARTEMIS: With an enchanted healing arrow!

APOLLO: Still shot him! (pause) There are people in your corner, that’s all we’re trying to say. I know it often seems like individual versus Zeus and all of Olympus, but it’s not. Or at least it doesn’t have to be.

APHRODITE: Thank you. Both of you. I love you both so much, you know that? Gods, look what you’ve done, you’ve made me all sappy. I can’t believe this.

APOLLO: I can’t believe you managed to make Artemis sappy. 

ARTEMIS: Oh shut up, Pollo, you say that like I don’t always go out of my way to protect you.

APOLLO: Yeah, but I’m your twin. You’re honorbound to protect me, that’s what having a twin is all about. 

CALLIOPE: If I may, dear listeners, I think I will redirect your attention elsewhere. In fact, I’ll direct it away from this day entirely. We rejoin our story at a different time in a different place, this time with our favorite married couple.

ARES: What do you want for dinner?

APHRODITE: Gods, have we reached this stage of married already?

ARES: Soup, then?

APHRODITE: Yeah, soup sounds good. But you can’t just ignore my other question, Air!

ARES: I wasn’t ignoring it, I was taking it as code that you wanted soup. Which you did. 

APHRODITE: And you took it as code because…

ARES: (laughing) Because we’ve been best friends for centuries, Dite. Us being married to hide some affair or other of Zeus’s doesn’t change that I know questions like that mean you want soup and a sandwich and to talk about what’s bothering you. Again, us being married is not why I know this. The last time we did this was when we were talking about that thing with the dolphins–

APHRODITE: They’re just too cute to be so evil!

ARES: –So you can trust me when I say that I’m making soup as your best friend and not as your husband. I barely think of myself as your husband except when it’s funny to do so. 

APHRODITE: …There are many instances where being your wife is funny. Mainly when Zeus is being annoying and I threaten to divorce you.

ARES: We can’t both be doing that to him, he’ll know it’s not a serious threat.

APHRODITE: Or he’ll think it’s serious because we’re both thinking about divorce. Come on, wouldn’t it be funny to get divorced to spite Zeus? 

ARES: I mean you’re not wrong…

APHRODITE: It’s not like they’re ever going to stop talking about us anyway. Theorizing about our marriage, making it seem like things are either picture perfect or secretly awful because they can’t make up their mind on a narrative to spin so we’re stuck going around and around in circles phasing through the states of marriage. 

ARES: Ah. So that’s what this is about. 

APHRODITE: Yeah. It’s just kind of… Weighing on me, I guess. When I agreed to this–

ARES: When we agreed to this.

APHRODITE: Air–

ARES: You didn’t coerce me into anything. I’m not going to let you continue to pretend that you did.

APHRODITE: Fine, when we agreed to this, I thought they would get bored and move on. I guess that’s always been my mistake, I’ve always thought they would get bored and move on and they never have. Our whole friendship they’ve been wondering when we’d get together despite all signs pointing to the contrary, I guess I just hoped that when they finally got what they wanted they would stop. 

ARES: I’ll be honest, Aph: I’m not sure they know how to stop. Don’t get me wrong, I wish they would too, but I just don’t think it’s something they can comprehend. People always want to know the story, to see the truth of the matter, and even when they find the truth they convince themselves there’s something else there to keep looking for. I don’t know how to make this better–

APHRODITE: It’s not your job to–

ARES: But I do know this: you’re my friend and I love you. I will always be here for you, and you’ll always be here for me. So even if the rest of Olympus won’t stop, at least we’ll have each other through it all. 

APHRODITE: (small, timid) What if that isn’t enough?

ARES: Then we’ll work together to make sure it’s enough. I’ve known you for centuries, Aphrodite. You’ve been my friend for centuries. There’s nothing that we can’t figure out by working together, okay? I promise.

APHRODITE: Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Ares.

ARES: I will be keeping this promise. We both will.

APHRODITE: I love you too, you know that right? 

ARES: I know, Aph. I know.

CALLIOPE: We’re going to follow our dear god of war for a moment, but worry not, we’ll return to Aphrodite shortly. Before we get there, it is worth checking in on Ares and Hermes who are preparing to box together.

HERMES: Thank you again for doing this.

ARES: It’s no trouble at all, Herm! It’s been a while since I’ve done non-weapon based sparring; it’ll be nice to mix it up a bit. 

HERMES: So what do I need to do to get started then?

ARES: Well, the first thing we should do is wrap your hands. We’ll probably steer away from gloves for the first day, but even with gloves on it’s good to have your hands wrapped. Here, I can wrap your hands for you so you can learn how to do it.

HERMES: (flustered) Shouldn’t I learn by watching you instead?

ARES: It’s always good to have someone do it for you the first couple times so that you’re sure everything is wrapped properly. Don’t worry, Hermes, I’m not going to let you get hurt. Now, hold out your hand for me. Palm up. These types of wraps have a loop for your thumb which is super helpful. Now, I’m going to start with four circles around the wrist, followed by three to four around the knuckles. 

CALLIOPE: Ares did just that, gripping Hermes’ hand gently as he wrapped the fabric around it. He pulled it gently, holding it in place before looking up at Hermes.

ARES: How’s that feeling? Too tight?

HERMES: (too gay for this) No, no. Not too tight. What next?

ARES: After you wrap the knuckles, you want to go between the fingers. You start between your pinky and ring fingers and move your way in toward your thumb until each section has been wrapped. 

CALLIOPE: Ares’ movements were slow, deliberate, ensuring that Hermes was paying attention and learning the proper technique. Fabric was being laced between fingers with a careful precision before it finally wrapped through the thumb and forefinger. 

ARES: From there, you wrap the knuckles again and then keep wrapping around your knuckles and wrist until you run out of wrap. I always try to end at the wrist so the velcro stays a bit better. 

HERMES: It’s a bit like how you would wrap a hand wound, isn’t it? Though I’ll admit, I’d much prefer you wrapping my hand for protection than patching up a wound.

ARES: (laughing) Yeah, I can’t imagine having a hand wound would be much fun. I’d much prefer having you completely in one piece if it’s all the same with you, Hermes. 

HERMES: (teasing) Well, I suppose I shall endeavor to remain uninjured if that’s what you prefer. (pause) So, what’s next?

ARES: Right, well next we’ll go over the different types of punches. And then we’ll do a bit of shadowboxing on the bag.

HERMES: And eventually I get to hit you, right?

ARES: (laughing) You can try your best to do so, sure. We won’t be up to fighting for a little bit, but if you want to give it a go eventually, we definitely can. For now–

HERMES: Shadowboxing.

ARES: (agreeing) Shadowboxing.

CALLIOPE: We shall leave these gods to their boxing and travel to one final day, returning once more to Aphrodite and, with her, Hephaestus.

HEPHAESTUS: I still can’t believe I can just. Go see my mom. Whenever I want. She’s… Well, she’s not free, but she’s not trapped in that house with Zeus anymore.

APHRODITE: (genuine) I’m so glad she’s made it out of there. And I’m glad you will actually get to see her. Before my wedding…

HEPHAESTUS: I think maybe once since I had moved out here? It was… Hard. She wasn’t kidding when she told me they’d follow us both out here if she left with me. I didn’t want to believe her, I wanted so badly for her to be wrong. I wanted her to be able to get away from it all.

APHRODITE: And now she is.

HEPHAESTUS: Yeah. Yeah, now she is. (pause) What about you, though?

APHRODITE: What about me?

HEPHAESTUS: Are you going to leave it all behind and flee into the countryside with me? 

APHRODITE: You’re not that remotely located you know. 

(both laugh)

APHRODITE: I do think about it, though. Gods, Phae, you should hear how they’re still talking about me and Air. You’d think they’d have better things to do by now. I’m half convinced Zeus is paying them to keep talking about the two of us, except that doesn’t make sense because if Zeus could just pay off the press–

HEPHAESTUS: Honestly knowing him he might still have made you and Ares get married just because he’s a dick. 

APHRODITE: (laughing) You’re probably right. Doesn’t make it any less annoying, though.

HEPHAESTUS: You know…

CALLIOPE: Hephaestus looked around the room for a moment, not quite able to look at Aphrodite before continuing.

HEPHAESTUS: There’s always space for you here. If you want it. Even if it’s not forever, you can always just come to get away for a couple days.

APHRODITE: What if they follow me out here like they followed Hera? I couldn’t do that to you.

HEPHAESTUS: I’d rather be there to help you deal with them than let you deal with this all on your own. (pause before overcorrecting) Not that I think you are on your own! I mean, I’m certain Ares has been helpful about the whole thing and you’ve got other friends in Olympus and– Gods, I’ve really stuck my foot in my mouth, huh?

APHRODITE: (Sincere and fond) You really haven’t, Phae. I promise. (pause) Thank you. For offering that. I couldn’t risk any reporters–

HEPHAESTUS: If there’s one thing I know how to do it’s get rid of the reporters. I don’t care about the risk, Aph. If you need a place to go and get away from it all, come here. Please. 

APHRODITE: Okay.

HEPHAESTUS: Yeah?

APHRODITE: Yeah. If I need to get away I’ll come here. I promise.

HEPHAESTUS: Good. Now come on, you said you wanted to see pictures from the Catchelor, right? I’m sure that’ll brighten your spirits.

APHRODITE: (laughing) Yes, please. Show me the cats.

CALLIOPE: With that, my dear listeners, I shall release your attention back into the world it belongs to. As this arc of our tale draws towards its middle, we inch closer to the halfway point of our story as a whole. Until next time, and as always, thank you for listening.