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CALLIOPE: Rather than teasing you with a cut to somewhere else, we will actually be diving directly in today.

Welcome, dear listeners, to Forged Bonds.

The scene we last left off on is our destination for the start of the show. Dionysus has arrived in the forge of Hephaestus, sleepy but conscious.

DIONYSUS: Alright what was so important that I– Oh.

HEPHAESTUS: I know.

DIONYSUS: Oh gods.

HEPHAESTUS: (panicked) I don’t know what happened.

DIONYSUS: Is that–

HEPHAESTUS: (more panicked) I don’t know what happened! It wasn’t supposed to be anyone– I was just trying to sculpt a person for fun but then… You have to help me destroy it.

DIONYSUS: What? No! Why?

HEPHAESTUS: You can damned well see why, Dionysus. I need to get rid of this, and fast. Gods, she’s going to want to see it and I can’t–

DIONYSUS: Why not?

HEPHAESTUS: Because it’s her fucking face, Di! You really want me to invite her over and go “Hey, Aph, so you know how I was working on a statue? Well it turns out that it was a fucking statue of you!”

DIONYSUS: Phae–

HEPHAESTUS: Just. Help me get rid of it. Please.

DIONYSUS: You know why I can’t do that. Talk to me, Phae. Tell me what’s really going on.

HEPHAESTUS: Isn’t it obvious?

DIONYSUS: Maybe so, but I want you to tell me anyway.

HEPHAESTUS: …I’m in love with her. Gods above, I’m in love with her.

DIONYSUS: (gently) And you didn’t know before this?

HEPHAESTUS: Of course not! How could I possibly have known? I– When you and Hermes told me to think about it, I thought it was just some elaborate bit! I didn’t think that the two of you actually thought– Or that I actually– (muffled scream) 

DIONYSUS: Okay, Phae, let’s just. Come here, sit down. Cider, you want to come sit with Phae? I know you want to, come on, jump up little bud.

CALLIOPE: Cider, the fluffiest Norwegian Forest Cat you have ever seen, did just that, hopping up into Hephaestus’ lap and purring loudly.

HEPHAESTUS: I can’t believe you actually brought him with.

DIONYSUS: I asked!

HEPHAESTUS: I know, I know, I just… Gods, Di, what am I doing? 

DIONYSUS: Well, right now you’re sitting on your couch at… 2:30 the morning, petting the fluffiest orange boy around, and talking to me about what’s going on in that head of yours. Because this is… It’s a big reaction, Phae. And not in the way I thought it would be. I definitely thought it’d be more ‘gossip about my crush’ than ‘help me bury this body’, you know?

HEPHAESTUS: We would need to do more than bury the statue. It needs to be fully destroyed so it can’t be found and pieced back together and– Oh. This is what you mean by ‘big reaction’, huh? 

DIONYSUS: Yeah, it’s pretty intense all things considered. Unless there’s something about the situation I’m not picking up on?

HEPHAESTUS: It’s… I don’t know, Di, it’s just… Complicated. 

DIONYSUS: Complicated.

HEPHAESTUS: Yeah.

DIONYSUS: So uncomplicate it for me. What’s running through your head right now? 

HEPHAESTUS: I’m just thinking about all the ways that this will go wrong.

DIONYSUS: Will go wrong? Shouldn’t that be might?

HEPHAESTUS: This is me we’re talking about, Di. Which means at best it goes nowhere and I just spend some time pining until I die. At worst it means she finds out and then she’ll never speak to me ever again because I’ve betrayed our friendship by falling in love with her. I’ve become every other person on this fucking planet who can’t respect her boundaries and she’s going to hate me for that. Gods, why did it have to be her? Anyone else I could’ve dealt with! (pause) But it was always going to be her, wasn’t it?

DIONYSUS: I mean… She did break down your walls remarkably quickly all things considered.

HEPHAESTUS: (fondly) Yeah, she really did. She’s just… She’s incredible, Di. She’s sweet and she’s funny and she’s a sarcastic bitch and I just…

DIONYSUS: Love her?

HEPHAESTUS: Which I wasn’t supposed to do.

DIONYSUS: But why not?

HEPHAESTUS: Because–

DIONYSUS: Ares fell in love with her too, didn’t he? And they remained best friends. In fact, they’re such good friends that they agreed to marry each other. Why is it any different with you?

HEPHAESTUS: Because it’s me! I’m loud and lonely and so scared all the time. I don’t know how to make friends or keep them. I have isolated myself from the world because the world wanted me to be alone and gods, Di, maybe I should’ve listened to the world more and just. Stayed alone. There is no world in which this beautiful, wonderful, lovely goddess could ever feel anything for me. The fact that she’s my friend is already so much more than I deserve I can’t–

CALLIOPE: Whatever else Hephaestus was going to say was lost as Dionysus pulled her into a tight hug. Tears that she had been struggling to hold back started to fall onto his shoulder as Dionysus held Hephaestus as if he were a parent comforting a child.

HEPHAESTUS: I’m going to ruin everything. 

DIONYSUS: No you’re not.

HEPHAESTUS: You don’t know that.

DIONYSUS: Neither do you. You’re so quick to assume that everything is going to go badly and that you’ll be to blame. But Phae, look around you! You’ve made and kept wonderful friends, more so this year than ever before. You’ve grown close enough with someone that you can say you love her without even second guessing yourself. You’ve grown and changed and become so much more than you give yourself credit for. I know it’s scary. I know that the costs seem to outweigh the benefits but Phae. It’s not all going to end in disaster just because it’s you. If anything, it might be wonderful because it’s you.

HEPHAESTUS: …You know why I can’t think that.

DIONYSUS: I know. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to tell you it again and again and again. You don’t have to believe you’re amazing; I’ll believe it enough for the both of us.

CALLIOPE: Dionysus kissed his dear friend on the forehead. 

HEPHAESTUS: What did I do to deserve a friend like you?

DIONYSUS: Pack bonded, remember? Now come on, we should get you to bed. This was a lot of emotions for very late– or very early, I guess– in the day. You need to sleep.

HEPHAESTUS: …Will you stay?

DIONYSUS: (fondly) Of course I’ll stay. Up you get, you’re not sleeping on the couch. 

CALLIOPE: The two gods made their way into Hephaestus’ bedroom, laying down beside each other like they so often did when they drank a bit too much. Cider, the big ball of fluff, squeezed his way between Dionysus and Hephaestus, purring up a storm along the way. 

We shall leave these two to their dreams and instead join our story sometime the next day in the afternoon. Ares has been pretending to read a book for the better part of thirty minutes and it is starting to get on Aphrodite’s nerves.

APHRODITE: What is it?

ARES: What is what?

APHRODITE: Okay, no. We’re not doing the whole “I’m clearly tense and won’t talk about it even though it’s clear I want to talk about it” thing. You’ve been pretending to read, turning the pages too fast and then noticing that so you start flipping slower. And you’ve been sighing loudly. A lot. Even Dipper has picked up on the anxious energy you’re throwing off. So what is it?

ARES: I need to tell you something. 

APHRODITE: You haven’t been this nervous to talk to me since you told me you were in love with me. 

ARES: It’s that level of importance. 

APHRODITE: (like trying to calm a spooked horse) Air. It’s just me. You can tell me anything, you know that.

ARES: (nervous) I, um. Unfortunately I’m going to have to ask for a divorce.

APHRODITE: (Understanding laced with teasing) On what grounds?

ARES: (with enough sincerity to kill a man) I’ve fallen in love with someone else.

APHRODITE: (proud and genuine) Oh Ares, I’m so happy for you.

ARES: You are?

APHRODITE: Of course I am, Air! Why wouldn’t I be?

ARES: If we… I mean, if I decide to pursue this… (sigh) They’re going to talk. 

APHRODITE: They always do. 

ARES: But we got married specifically to avoid that–

APHRODITE: And they kept talking anyway. Air, I’m not going to let my desire for the press to shut up to keep you from the person you’re in love with.

ARES: And if he’s not in love with me?

APHRODITE: Oh so they’re a he, huh? And unless your taste in men has fallen so terrible that you’d consider Zeus–

ARES: Oh come on, Dite, don’t even joke about that.

APHRODITE: –Then it has to be Hermes, right?

ARES: Am I that obvious?

APHRODITE: I like to think I know you pretty well. So Hermes?

ARES: Yeah. Yeah, Hermes. He’s just… I don’t know how it took so long to click for me, Dite. I mean, every time I’m with him it feels like I’m as happy as I’ll ever be. And for so long I thought this was just, I don’t know, the ‘strength of brotherhood’ or some other ultra masculine bullshit but really I just…

APHRODITE: You just…

ARES: I just love him. I love the way he smiles at me, like I’m the most precious thing he’s ever seen. I love the way he laughs, the way he throws his head back like everything is the funniest thing he’s ever heard. I love talking to him, spending time with him, just existing in his space. I love him. And it took me so fucking long to see that. But now that I see it… Even if I don’t have a chance, it still feels like I should try.

APHRODITE: Well, you know me. I’m going to encourage you to try. If you love him– and it’s clear that you do– then you should tell him. Like right now.

ARES: Like right now right now?

APHRODITE: Yes, right now! I’ll go call Hera and get the divorce process started. You need to go and tell him!

ARES: Are you sure this is a good idea?

APHRODITE: You’ve been pretending to read for thirty minutes straight because you’re so antsy about this. If you don’t go now, you’ll be this antsy for days and I will kill you before you get to tell him. So go!

ARES: (laughing) Okay, okay, I’m going, geez! (pause) And Aph?

APHRODITE: Yeah?

ARES: Thank you.

APHRODITE: Of course, Air. Now go get your man!

CALLIOPE: Ares left the house to do just that, running as fast as his legs would carry him. Each step caused hope to bloom in his chest, the feeling of coming home burning in his heart as he got closer and closer to Hermes’ house. He ran up towards the door, pausing only briefly before knocking.

HERMES: Ares? Is everything okay?

ARES: (out of breath) Everything is fine. Everything is wonderful! I– (deep breath) Sorry, I ran here. Not fully sure why I thought that was a good idea.

HERMES: (laughing) Come on, I’ll get you some water. 

CALLIOPE: The two sat down at Hermes’ kitchen table, a place they had sat so many times before and yet it felt like the first time for Ares. He felt excited, nervous, and hopelessly infatuated with the man sitting across from him. After allowing Ares to catch his breath, Hermes spoke up.

HERMES: So what was so important that you needed to run here?

ARES: I realized something the other day.

HERMES: Something that made you have to run here today?

ARES: I had to talk to Aphrodite about it first. 

HERMES: Ah.

ARES: It’s not like that! I promise it’s not, it’s just… It’s something that impacts her life too. But she was the one who encouraged me to come over here now. I’d probably still be anxiously pretending to read at home if she hadn’t.

HERMES: Is everything okay?

ARES: Do you ever have just a… Like a startling moment of clarity, almost? Where everything kind of clicks into place and then you start freaking out because ‘how did I not see this before?’ when everything was just… right there?

HERMES: Air–

ARES: And after that moment of clarity, your brain just keeps rocketing to the ‘what ifs’ and the ‘maybes’ and then it all just… Freezes. Because you know the answer. You know that for all the ‘what ifs’ and ‘maybes’ there is always going to be a constant and nothing will risk or change that.

HERMES: And that’s what happened to you?

ARES: Yeah.

HERMES: So you came here?

ARES: Yeah. 

HERMES: And this… Relates to me? Somehow?

ARES: You told me before that I was wanted. That I was loved. Did you mean that?

HERMES: Of course I did.

ARES: And nothing will change that, right?

HERMES: Of course not. You’re my– You’re Ares. Nothing will change that, not to me. Not with you.

ARES: The reason I ran over here, the reason I had to come and see you right now, today, is because I’m getting divorced. 

HERMES: (sympathetic) Oh, Ares–

ARES: I’m getting divorced because you tackled me with a hug and looked at me like I mattered more than anything else in the world and I realized that I love you. I love you so fucking much and I don’t know how I missed it for so long. You make me feel like my heart is bursting and like I’ll never know sadness again in my life. Every time I’m with you I just want to ask you to stay. Want you to ask me to stay. Want to hold you in my arms and never, ever let you go because I just… Love you so much. And I had to tell you that. I don’t expect anything from you, I know that the odds of you and me… I’m not doing this because I expect that you’ll love me back. But I know you well enough to know that me loving you won’t break us. That you’d let me stay by your side and love you even if you didn’t love me. So I had to tell you. I just had to.

CALLIOPE: Hermes stared at Ares with wide eyes, the full weight of Ares’ confession taking a moment to sink into his brain. But once it did, Hermes smiled. And then he laughed.

ARES: (hurt) Okay, I know I just said that I didn’t expect anything from you, but I was hoping that it wouldn’t be laughter.

HERMES: (laughing) No, Ares, I promise I’m not laughing at you I just… You really thought that I didn’t love you? You really thought that you’d come here and tell me all of this and I’d tell you ‘That’s nice Ares but we’re better off as friends’? Ares, I’ve been in love with you for years. 

ARES: You… What?

HERMES: I’ve loved you for years. I’ll love you for even longer if you’ll let me. Forever, if you’ll let me. You, coming here, telling me you love me… This feels like a dream.

ARES: You saying that you love me feels like a dream too. But it’s real, right?

HERMES: It’s real. I can’t believe it, but it’s real. Gods, I just… You love me?

ARES: More than I ever thought I could love someone. I’m just sorry it took this long to realize. And you love me?

HERMES: Of course I do. How could I not?

CALLIOPE: A brilliant grin broke out on Ares’ face as he pulled Hermes into his arms, lifting him into the air and spinning him around before setting him back down to earth and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.

HERMES: I love you.

ARES: I love you. Gods, I love you so much.

CALLIOPE: If you’ll forgive me, dear listeners, I will pull your attention elsewhere for just a brief moment. Some things are better left just to Ares and Hermes, and these first moments of their relationship are just that: theirs. We will travel instead to Hera’s room, catching her in conversation with Aphrodite.

HERA: A divorce? Are you sure? (pause) Oh, that’s wonderful! I mean, wonderful that he’s fallen in love, not that the two of you– I know, I know, but it’s… It will be rough, Aph. I don’t want you to discount that. (pause) I suppose that’s true. As long as you’re sure… I can start taking care of the process for you.

(knock)

HERA: Oh, I think that’s Persephone. We were supposed to have a movie night tonight and I’m helping make dinner beforehand. I’ll talk to you more about this tomorrow, okay? Take care.

(knock)

HERA: I’m coming, Sephie! You know you don’t have to– Oh.

DEMETER: Hello, Hera. It’s time we talk, don’t you think?

CALLIOPE: And that, dear listeners, is where we shall end our arc. We will return to our story in a month’s time with divorce, Demeter, and our dear gods. I hope you have enjoyed the first half of our story! Until next time, and as always, thank you for listening.