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CALLIOPE: You may recall, dear listeners, that this is a love story. It’s actually several love stories stacked on top of each other in a trenchcoat, but that’s besides the point. This story is a love story, and for one set of our dear gods, this is about to become much more real.

Welcome, dear listeners, to Forged Bonds. 

We rejoin our story with Ares and Hermes who are– as you might have gathered from the introduction– in the middle of their own love story.

HERMES: (laughing) You’re being absolutely ridiculous.

ARES: No I’m not!

HERMES: Yes you are! You have to see how ridiculous of a statement that was, right?

ARES: It’s a genuine question! (fake pouting) And you’re making fun of me for it!

HERMES: (laughing) I’m not making fun of you, Ares. Or, well. I am, but not for the reason you think. It’s just… Laughable to think that I like Dipper more than you. Or to think that Dipper likes me more than he likes you. You’re basically his dad!

ARES: Yeah, but he always seems so mopey when you’re not around! And you definitely prefer coming over here than having me at your place. Ergo, you and my bear are better friends than we are and you both secretly hate me.

HERMES: Air, what brought this on? Surely this can’t be something you actually believe, right? (pause) Right?

ARES: I… I don’t know, Hermes. I guess I’m just a little worried is all.

HERMES: That I like your bear more than you?

ARES: (sad laugh) No, that… That I’m not enough for my friends on my own.

HERMES: Ares–

ARES: It’s stupid, I know, I just… It feels like everything I do now is ‘Aphrodite and Ares’, like I’m just… tacked on as an afterthought because we’re married. And I know that you all know it’s not a real marriage and that this is a stupid thing to get in my own head about but–

HERMES: It’s not stupid!

ARES: Isn’t it?

HERMES: It’s not stupid to worry about your place in people’s lives, Air. It’s not stupid to feel like everything you’ve done recently has been forced through the lens of another person at your side. But your friends like you for you. I like you for you. When was the last time you saw me hanging out with Aphrodite on her own? Or Dipper, for that matter?

ARES: …I know, but you and Hephaestus–

HERMES: Are friends. And I don’t like her nearly as much as I like you. (pause) And it’s not like it’s a competition anyway, but if it were you’d be winning. Of course you’d be winning, you’re Ares. 

ARES: So the two of you aren’t… Involved?

HERMES: What? No! Why would you– (laughing) No, Ares, I’m not ‘involved’ with Hephaestus. 

ARES: Good. That’s good. 

HERMES: That’s… Good?

ARES: (overcorrecting) Unless you want to be involved with her, of course, in which case–

HERMES: Have you gotten so far into your own head that you forgot that I’m gay? Are you sure everything’s alright, Air? You’ve been all out of sorts since the party.

ARES: No, yeah, I’m good, I promise. I just… I don’t know what’s going on with my head lately. Feels like I’m a little stuck up there, is all. Trying to sort stuff out I guess.

HERMES: Well, whatever you need, I’m here for you, you know that, right? 

ARES: (fondly) I know, Hermes. You’re always here for me, I just hope I’m there for you just as much.

HERMES: You are, Air. I promise you are. (light teasing) I wouldn’t spend so much time with you if you were actually a dick.

ARES: (laughing) I suppose you wouldn’t. 

HERMES: Do you… want to talk about it? Whatever’s gotten you all worked up?

ARES: Are you sure?

HERMES: I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want to hear it, Air.

ARES: Right, right. I guess… I was just thinking about what we were talking about a couple weeks ago– when you asked me what it was like to be married. And I don’t think it had hit me until then just how badly I wanted that. To be married to someone I love and to someone who loves me in return. And then I started thinking about how no one has ever really picked me for me. Well, no, that’s not a fair way to look at it but–

HERMES: You want someone who sees you as you are, romantically, and that’s not something that you’ve ever gotten. Right?

ARES: Yeah. I love Aph, I do. And I did love her romantically for a time and I’m not upset that we’re friends who can count on each other for everything, I’d say that’s…I’d say that’s pretty lucky. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t sting a little bit to be rejected.

HERMES: So how did you get from there to asking me if I was hanging out with you for your bear?

ARES: It’s stupid–

HERMES: It isn’t.

ARES: –But I started thinking that ‘Well, if no one has ever wanted me romantically, how do I know they’ve even ever wanted me platonically?’ And then it spiraled from there. Logically I know you’re not just hanging out with me to see Dipper. Most of our activities don’t even involve him, I just… Emotionally, things got a little bit fucked, you know?

CALLIOPE: The force and speed at which Hermes threw his arms around Ares cannot quite be described. Suffice it to say that it lead to Ares toppling over, Hermes landing on top of him, arms wrapped protectively around both men as though they could squeeze each other to emotional and physical safety.

HERMES: You are so wanted and so loved by so many people. I’m sorry you didn’t see that.

ARES: Thanks, Hermes. I promise I’m okay, it’s just been a weird few weeks.

CALLIOPE: The two gods untangled themselves from each other, sitting up and smiling. From Ares’ perspective, the light was hitting just perfectly on Hermes’ face, casting a golden glow upon him. And he was smiling so fondly at Ares as well, the way he always smiled at Ares. The way that always made Ares’ face grow warm and stomach tie itself in knots. The smile that Ares was so worried was going to become reserved for other people, but here it was, gracing Hermes’ face as he looked at Ares, sun highlighting his warm brown eyes and–

ARES: Oh.

HERMES: Hm?

ARES: Nothing! Nothing, just… Thank you, Hermes. For listening to me being all dramatic. 

HERMES: What else are friends for?

ARES: Friends, yeah. I suppose you’re right. 

CALLIOPE: As enjoyable as it would be to follow Ares in his moment of realization, that will be something to save for later. For now, we will visit the home of Hephaestus, currently on the phone with Aphrodite as she works on her sculpture.

APHRODITE: I still can’t believe you’ve banned me from the forge for this.

HEPHAESTUS: You’re the one who said I should show it to people! Which means you have to live with the fact that you can no longer see the work in progress, you gotta wait for the finished piece!

APHRODITE: If I had known that encouraging you would lead to this–

HEPHAESTUS: You would’ve done it anyway because you like my work. Face it, Aph, I know you too well now. 

APHRODITE: (laughing) Not too well. Just well enough to exploit my weaknesses.

HEPHAESTUS: It’s a good thing we’re not enemies then, huh? 

APHRODITE: Please, you love me too much to be my enemy.

HEPHAESTUS: (teasing) Well if that’s the case then why are you banned from the forge?

APHRODITE: Haha. Very funny. (pause) Will you at least describe what you’re doing?

HEPHAESTUS: Well right now I’m trying to weave these wires together to make a realistic looking braid. This is so much harder than I thought it would be, but that’s likely because I never braid my hair, I just pull it back.

APHRODITE: Hmm… You know who does braid–

HEPHAESTUS: Nice try, but the answer is still no. I’m so close to finishing up this statue that you’re just going to have to be patient. You do know how to be patient, right? 

APHRODITE: Just because I know how to be patient doesn’t mean that I want to be patient. Is it such a crime to want to spend time with my friend in her forge watching her make beautiful things?

HEPHAESTUS: Yes.

APHRODITE: I guess I’m a criminal then.

HEPHAESTUS: (laughing) A very dramatic criminal.

APHRODITE: I can’t help it! I’ve seen good art and am now being deprived of it. How am I to go on?

HEPHAESTUS: You could pick a gemstone for me. I’m currently working on a necklace for the sculpture.

APHRODITE: I thought you swore off jewelry after the wedding rings.

HEPHAESTUS: What can I say? I decided I wanted to give it another go. Is that such a crime?

APHRODITE: Yes.

HEPHAESTUS: (laughing) Are you going to pick a gem or what?

APHRODITE: And aid a criminal? (laughing) You haven’t worked with emeralds in a while, what about that?

HEPHAESTUS: Emerald, yeah. I can work with that. Silver or gold?

APHRODITE: Yes.

HEPHAESTUS: That’s not– Fine, I can work with both. Might as well get some braiding practice in. It’s so much easier when it’s for jewelry. Once I decided to try and make it bigger to be hair it’s like it all fell apart.

APHRODITE: I think this is a sign that I should come over. I can teach you how to braid hair, you can teach me how to braid metal, we both win!

HEPHAESTUS: (fondly) You’re not getting me to break on this! If you wanted to see this as it was being finished, you wouldn’t have told me that I should try to present it as an art piece. You could’ve been here with me as I finished.

APHRODITE: You can try to spin this back on me, but I’m not going to apologize for telling you that you should show off your work. You make incredible things, Phae. Not just weapons, but art too. You deserve to show it off.

HEPHAESTUS: Even if it means I make you wait to see it?

APHRODITE: Yes, Phae. Even then. 

CALLIOPE: An easy silence fell between the two goddesses, broken only by the soft tapping of metal as Hephaestus did her work. A few moments passed by without comment until Hephaestus broke the quiet that had fallen over the phone.

HEPHAESTUS: You still there?

APHRODITE: Of course I am. Where would I go?

HEPHAESTUS: I don’t know. Guess I thought you’d hang up and go do something since you can’t see what I’m doing. I guess I should be narrating more, huh?

APHRODITE: I could hear some sounds of what you were working on. It’s nice (yawn) as background noise. And besides, I wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye.

HEPHAESTUS: You sound sleepy, though. Did you stay up too late again?

APHRODITE: It wasn’t too late (yawn) it was a perfectly normal amount of late.

HEPHAESTUS: And that’s why you’re yawning on the phone with me at… 10PM? When did it get so late? No wonder you’re yawning, you should go to bed.

APHRODITE: Maybe I just find your voice relaxing, and that’s why I’m yawning. Did you ever consider that?

HEPHAESTUS: Go to bed, Aph. You don’t have to keep me company over the phone.

APHRODITE: How else will I keep you company then? Since I’m not allowed in the forge? 

HEPHAESTUS: You’ll be let back into the forge once you’ve slept.

APHRODITE: Promise?

HEPHAESTUS: (fondly) Yes, Aph. I promise.

APHRODITE: Fine, I’ll go to bed. But I make no promises I’ll go to sleep!

HEPHAESTUS: Aph–

APHRODITE: Good luck with the rest of the sculpting!

CALLIOPE: The goddesses hung up their phones, leaving Hephaestus with the relative quiet of the forge. She picked up the pieces of metal in front of her, a small smile on her face as she did.

HEPHAESTUS: What am I going to do with her, huh? And more importantly, what am I going to do with you, little wires? I think the braid is as good as it’s going to get… Necklace is mostly finished… I guess I have no choice but to focus on the face.

CALLIOPE: Hephaestus did just that, taking a flat sheet of bronze and beginning to cut pieces to sculpt into the face. Her movements were deliberate and fluid, as though she had done this process a million times before– which, given her title as goddess of the forge, she had. It could have been hours or a mere moment before she completed her work, lifting the now crafted face to the body and adding the finishing touches to the piece. As she placed the last piece of jewelry onto the statue, the work-focused tunnel vision started to clear. Hephaestus took in the statue she made, starting from the way the metal dress hung to the figure all the way up to the face. As she stared into the eyes that she had crafted, she let her hammer clatter to the floor. 

HEPHAESTUS: (panicked) Pick up. Pick up. Come on, pick up! (pause) Oh thank the gods. Di, I need you to get over here as quickly as you can. Yes I know it’s– Wait, it’s after midnight? Okay, no, I didn’t know that, but it’s an emergency, Di, please– Thank you, Di. I can promise you I won’t fall asleep before you get here. You’ll see why when you get here. Yes, Cider can come with. Okay. See you soon. (pause) Fuck, what have I done?

CALLIOPE: And that, dear listeners, is where we shall end things for today. We will close this chapter of our tale next week, with answers and questions for you to ponder. For now, know that things will be alright. And if they aren’t alright, well, you can hardly blame your humble narrator for that, can you? Until next time, and as always, thank you for listening