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CALLIOPE: The wedding draws closer and closer by the day, though that is not the only thing growing closer. We join our story once more with Aphrodite and Hephaestus as they text through the first of many wedding rehearsals.

Welcome, dear listeners, to Forged Bonds.

You may be wondering why there are multiple wedding rehearsals taking place. ‘Calliope,’ you may be asking, ‘Don’t most people only have one wedding rehearsal?’ To that I say, you are correct, at least in terms of western standards. To answer the question you are surely asking, though, there are multiple rehearsals because Zeus needs to make everything about him. Hephaestus had just conveyed a similar thought through text to Aphrodite, causing a bit of a scene in rehearsal.

HEPHAESTUS: I mean, I’m surprised his ego fits in the ceremony space. He does know that the wedding isn’t about him right?

APHRODITE: (laughs)

ZEUS: Is there something you’d like to share, Aphrodite?

APHRODITE: Of course not, Zeus. I’m paying very close attention to the very elaborate ceremony plans that you’re laying out and definitely won’t be reading through the bullet notes that Hera has made instead because she understands the length of a person’s attention span.

CALLIOPE: Unfortunately for you, glares are not easily conveyed through an audio medium. Fortunately for you, I exist outside of the story and can tell you that Zeus was indeed glaring before clearing his throat dramatically and returning to whatever it was that he was saying.

(tapping)

APHRODITE: You’re going to get me in trouble.

(buzzing)

HEPHAESTUS: What, is he going to take your phone from you? It’s a wedding rehearsal, not a college class, he doesn’t have any real power.

(tapping)

APHRODITE: Try telling him that. I swear, you’d think this was his wedding the way he’s going on and on and on about nothing. I think he’ll be talking more than me and Ares combined.

(buzzing)

HEPHAESTUS: Why is he doing the ceremony anyway? Doesn’t that seem like something better suited for my mom?

(tapping)

APHRODITE: The man loves the sound of his own voice and is constantly on some kind of power trip. You really think he’d let Hera do a job that allows him to talk to a captive audience?

(buzzing)

(something being snatched)

APHRODITE: Hey!

ZEUS: Are you seriously texting instead of paying attention to your own wedding rehearsal?

APHRODITE: We’re not even rehearsing! You’re just reading a monologue at us and expecting us to pay attention. I mean, Ares is literally asleep.

(kicking sound)

ARES: (startled) What’s going on?

ZEUS: I’m just trying to prepare the best wedding possible for you two.

ARES: I mean if you were really trying to do that we wouldn’t be getting married to each other then, would we?

ZEUS: I–

HERA: Just give it a rest, Zeus. For gods’ sake, none of us want to be here, yourself included. The wedding isn’t for another two weeks and you have four of these scheduled when that time would be better suited to making the flower arrangements and getting the space set up to actually hold a wedding.

ZEUS: (remarkably bitter) I see that I’m outnumbered here. Fine. You’re free to go.

APHRODITE: My phone.

ZEUS: You can’t be texting during your own wedding, you know.

APHRODITE: (muttered) It’s not like it’s a real wedding anyway.

ARES: How long was he talking for before I fell asleep?

APHRODITE: Too long. I can’t believe you fell asleep.

ARES: I can’t believe you were texting under your seat like you were in school. Who were you texting anyway?

APHRODITE: Hephaestus.

ARES: (teasing) What? Aphrodite’s actually out here making friends?

APHRODITE: I have friends besides you, you know. I’m supposed to see Artemis in the next couple days if you wanna come with. Apollo usually tags along too.

ARES: Are you trying to set me up on a playdate with Apollo so you can actually spend time with Artemis?

APHRODITE: (teasing) I’m just preparing you for what married life will be like. Me hanging out with my friend and you hanging out with her brother who likes to tag along.

ARES: (overdramatic for the bit) Reduced to a tagalong before we’re even married. What has our friendship become?

(buzzing)

APHRODITE: Shit, I forgot to text Hephaestus back.

ARES: It’s nice to see you making friends.

APHRODITE: Air–

ARES: You know what I mean. Half the reason Zeus is trying to marry us off to each other is because we’re already joined at the hip anyway. I know you have friends outside of me– I have friends outside of you– but it’s just… It’s nice.

APHRODITE: Sap.

ARES: You’re marrying me, aren’t you?

APHRODITE: (laughing) Unfortunately I’m going to have to ask for a divorce.

ARES: (mock seriousness) On what grounds?

APHRODITE: (dramatic) I’ve fallen in love with someone else!

ARES: (even more dramatic) Say it isn’t so!

(both dissolve into a fit of laughter)

APHRODITE: Let’s make a promise, okay? If either of us fall in love with someone else, that’s immediate grounds for divorce, no questions asked.

ARES: Already trying to get rid of me, huh?

APHRODITE: Oh please, I’m trying to give you an out so you can get rid of me later.

ARES: I promise, if either of us falls in love, we go for divorce, no questions.

APHRODITE: I promise too. Not that I’m anticipating falling in love with anyone, but you–

ARES: Aren’t anticipating it either. And even if I do, we’re still going to be best friends, right?

APHRODITE: Of course, Air. Nothing could change that. You’re stuck with me now, whether I’m your wife or not.

ARES: (with remarkable sincerity) I know this isn’t really what you wanted, Dite. If I’m being fully honest, it isn’t what I wanted either. When I first thought of marrying you… It was before knowing how you felt about me. Before I knew that things were never going to be anything other than a friendship for you– and that’s still fine, by the way. My feelings for you have certainly taken different shapes since then and they aren’t romantic anymore, not really, but… But this is something I thought about, once upon a time. But in those far flung fantasies, it was always something we both wanted, not something we were asked to do. I’ve always wanted my marriage to mean something. Isn’t that silly?

APHRODITE: (Sincere and heartbroken) That’s not silly at all.

ARES: Olympus is full of political marriages–

APHRODITE: Fuck the rest of Olympus. Just because so many people marry to strengthen their standing doesn’t mean you should feel silly for wanting a marriage that was more than that. I’m sorry that I can’t give you a marriage that’s more than that.

ARES: Hey, hey, no, Dite, that’s not– I didn’t bring this up for you to apologize again. I guess I’m just… Commiserating. And letting you know that this isn’t me trying to take advantage of you in any way. How I felt for you in the past… Your friendship has always meant more to me. Always. And that isn’t going to change just because of this. Like you said, we’re stuck together now. I just wanted to make sure you knew that I knew how this was going to go. You’ve done so much to assure me as we’ve gone through the planning for this, I guess I just wanted to make sure you knew where I stood.

APHRODITE: You never expected me to love you. Not romantically at least. 

ARES: I’m not sure I’ve ever expected anyone to love me. 

APHRODITE: Which is bullshit–

ARES: I think we’re the only ones who truly see each other as we are. People have their images of us– floozy goddess of love and hot-headed, idiotic god of war. And because of that, it’s hard to believe that anyone could find something real in me.

APHRODITE: I know what you mean. Sometimes… Mortals have all of their ideas about what we’re like and it feels like most of Olympus just buys into that. It doesn’t matter that they’ve known us longer than the mortals have existed, their thoughts are too pervasive. We get reduced to our barest bones and for what? 

Still, though. I’m sorry that this isn’t what you expected from your life. And before you start, I know you’re also sorry this isn’t what I expected for my life. But we’re still here and we’re still getting married and I…

I still love you. Even if it’s not how you once wanted.

ARES: What I wanted then wasn’t a full picture of things; what we have now is much better. I love you too, Aph.

APHRODITE: (testing to see if teasing is appropriate) Enough to marry me, right?

ARES: (laughing, tension melting) Yes, Aph. Enough to marry you.

CALLIOPE: If I may, dear listeners, it’s time to draw your attention back to the forge. Hephaestus is hard at work on her surprise wedding daggers and Dionysus lays on the couch that was brought in solely for him.

DIONYSUS: Someone’s been smiling an awful lot today.

HEPHAESTUS: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

DIONYSUS: Oh come on, Phae. Every time your phone buzzes you get this… Look. Like you’re excited for something, or like you can’t believe something is happening. Maybe both.

HEPHAESTUS: (pausing before deflecting poorly) I… Don’t know what you’re talking about.

DIONYSUS: Just admit it: you’ve made a friend other than me.

HEPHAESTUS: You’ve also been making friends other than me.

DIONYSUS: (fake betrayal) So it’s true then. Hephaestus, goddess of the forge, my most trusted friend in all of Olympus, has been making friends?

HEPHAESTUS: (sighing) Making a friend. Aphrodite. She’s… Different. From what I expected. She’s a lot more fun to talk to than I thought she’d be. (teasing) More fun to talk to than you at least.

DIONYSUS: Each word twists the dagger further into my heart–

HEPHAESTUS: And if I made the dagger then you know it’s sharp.

DIONYSUS: (as much dramatism as possible) Sharp enough to kill.

(both laugh)

DIONYSUS: I told you she wasn’t that bad.

HEPHAESTUS: I never said that she was! I just… You know what Olympus is like. That’s why you and I get along so well, you know what they’re like. And, well… She knows too, I think. The way she talks about that place… She has more depth than I gave her credit for. Definitely more depth than Olympus gives her credit for.

DIONYSUS: Do you ever miss it?

HEPHAESTUS: What, Olympus?

DIONYSUS: Yeah.

HEPHAESTUS: I… No, not really. That place chewed me up and spit me back out from the moment I was born; can’t really feel a connection to a place when your supposed father figure chucks you off a mountain, right? I’ve always been on the outside of it, always been scrutinized for trying to live in it for as long as I did. I was never myself in Olympus, you know that. I didn’t become myself– truly myself– until I left. 

I miss my mom, of course I do, but she calls when she can. And you don’t leave me alone long enough to miss you so… So I have everything I need here. I never needed Olympus and Olympus never needed me.

DIONYSUS: Olympus might not need you but I do. Your mom does. You’re… I get why you left the city proper, I do, but Phae… I don’t think living alone and afraid of connection is the way to go.

HEPHAESTUS: Who says I’m afraid of connection?

DIONYSUS: If Aphrodite didn’t let it slip that she knew how much Olympus could hurt, if she just came in here quietly and left just as quietly, would you even have bothered to ask? (pause) I didn’t think so. So many people want to know you, Phae. Know the real you. I mean, look at Hermes! The man is here every other day delivering your mail and trying to talk to you and you still won’t call him a friend.

HEPHAESTUS: He doesn’t know me.

DIONYSUS: But he wants to. He’s a good guy and he’s not trying anything untoward, I promise. He just… Thinks you might be lonely. And I agree with him.

HEPHAESTUS: Has it occurred to you that perhaps I’m meant to be lonely?

DIONYSUS: Has it occurred to you that perhaps you’re not?

HEPHAESTUS: What brought all this on, Di? We were just talking about my friendship with Aphrodite, what made this become a ‘you’re lonely and we should talk about it’ speech? 

DIONYSUS: (sighing) I don’t know. I guess I just… Saw an in, with you talking about making a new friend. I thought maybe you were finally starting to see that there are people out there who can, will, and do like you for you. Olympus as a whole sucks, I get that, but sometimes I worry that in writing it off completely you’ve written off any possible chance to connect with someone other than me and your mom. There are good people in Olympus. You don’t need to cut it out entirely.

HEPHAESTUS: If people in Olympus don’t see the real you, what makes you think that they’ll be able to see the real me? 

DIONYSUS: The whole of Olympus will never see us as we are– outcasts have to stick together and all that– but sometimes people are trying to make an effort to know you and I worry you’ll shut them out entirely.

HEPHAESTUS: Like Hermes.

DIONYSUS: Yeah, like Hermes. And like Aphrodite. I know you said you’re friends and I believe you but I also know how closely you guard yourself. If she’s being kind, trust that it’s because she is kind, not because she feels she has to extend a kindness to you.

HEPHAESTUS: Sometimes I forget how well you know all of my insecurities.

DIONYSUS: Pack bonded, remember? You know all of mine too.

HEPHAESTUS: And I know how hard it must’ve been for you to bring this up. It’s something we both needed to hear, isn’t it?

DIONYSUS: Of course it is. But I’m more likely to believe it if you say it and you’re more likely to believe it if I say it so we had to start somewhere, right?

HEPHAESTUS: I’m not sure I believe it quite yet–

DIONYSUS: Oh gods, neither do I, are you kidding me?

HEPHAESTUS: (laughing) But I’m glad you brought it up, Di. Seriously. We’re both such messes that it’s kind of… nice. To get to be messy together.

DIONYSUS: What are friends for if not that?

CALLIOPE: With that, dear listeners, I shall set you loose from the story. There is more work to be done and more conversations to be had, but there will be time for that later. Until next time, and as always, thank you for listening.