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CALLIOPE: After their walk, Persephone left Aphrodite at Hephaestus’s doorstep alone due to a slightly panicked call from her husband. It’s for the better, really, as Aphrodite wanted to see Hephaestus on her own to begin with. 

Welcome, dear listeners, to Forged Bonds.

Aphrodite has just knocked on the door to Hephaestus’s home, surprised by the clatter that follows.

HEPHAESTUS: Fuck, shit– Just a second!

APHRODITE: You okay in there?

HEPHAESTUS: (pulling the door open) Oh, hey! Yeah, I’m fine just– (sound of a bucket being kicked off a foot) I was trying to do some cleaning and then knocked some stuff over and… Yeah. Anyway, why don’t you come in? I’ll grab the rings for you, just give me a sec.

APHRODITE: No rush. (pause) Are you sure you were cleaning in here? It kind of looks like a bomb went off.

HEPHAESTUS: Ha ha. Like I said, I knocked some stuff over by accident. My forge is as organized as can be, but my house… I can only focus on keeping one area from being a tripping hazard at any given time and it’s much more important to keep the area with fire and burning metal from killing me.

APHRODITE: I suppose that’s fair. Would hate to see you trip and fall into scorching metal.

HEPHAESTUS: You and I both. Take a seat, the couch should be… clear enough, I think. 

I wasn’t expecting you til later, is everything alright?

APHRODITE: Everything’s fine, I just wanted to get out of my house for a bit and, well, this was the first thing on my list for the day. The only thing on my list today, really.

HEPHAESTUS: Well, you’re welcome to stay if you want. I’m just cleaning and probably going to work on a few new sword designs. Maybe a knife or two, if you’re interested.

APHRODITE: You’d… You’d let me watch you work?

HEPHAESTUS: I mean, I don’t usually work for an audience, but you seemed so interested previously that I thought… It could be fun. And since I can do a bit of magic, I can even make it quiet enough in there for us to hear each other if you want.

APHRODITE: That sounds… Lovely, actually. Thank you, Hephaestus.

HEPHAESTUS: Thank you for actually being interested in what I’m doing. It’s… refreshing to say the least. I love Di dearly but even he gets sick of hearing about the work sometimes.

APHRODITE: I don’t understand how, it’s truly fascinating work. I mean, all the different types of things that you make and the way you infuse magic into it is just… Stunning.

HEPHAESTUS: (flustered but pleased) Oh, I… Thank you. I put a lot of care into what I make, if it wasn’t obvious. Speaking of, here are the rings if you want to take a look.

APHRODITE: My gods, these are gorgeous. 

HEPHAESTUS: You think?

APHRODITE: Of course I do! The bronze on titanium looks even better than I remember and the engraving… You managed to match my handwriting perfectly for it. And then there’s the one Ares helped design, I love the ruby so much. It’s a beautiful cut for the gem.

HEPHAESTUS: Rectangle cuts aren’t typical for rubies and rubies aren’t typical for wedding rings, but this isn’t a typical wedding so I thought… I’m glad you like them, Aphrodite. It’s not what I’m used to making, but I still held them to the same standards as everything else I do so they should be pretty damn near unbreakable. 

APHRODITE: ‘Near unbreakable’, what could possibly break them?

HEPHAESTUS: I mean if you were really determined you could break it. Smashing it with a hammer would work on any ring, ya know?

APHRODITE: (laughing) Okay, yeah, I guess that’s fair. I won’t be smashing it with a hammer, if that wasn’t clear already. Even if the wedding isn’t as real as I would’ve thought my wedding would be, the rings are real. And they’re really beautiful.

HEPHAESTUS: You know you still don’t have to go through with this.

APHRODITE: On some level I think I know that. But at this point…

HEPHAESTUS: At this point you’re kind of resigned to it, I know. I just… I guess it’s silly because we barely know each other, but I wish that there were something more for you than just… this.

APHRODITE: That’s what I wish for Ares more than myself. I’m… I’m fine with just this, I think. It’s not what I imagined, but life rarely is, you know? At least if it’s him, it’s my best friend. I never expected much for myself in the realm of romance, so marrying my best friend? That’s more than I could ever ask for. With him… There’s someone out there who will love him how he wants to be. How he deserves to be. So I wish there could be more for him than just this.

(pause)

And, you know. We could know each other better. If you wanted. I know we didn’t exactly fall into knowing each other by choice, but it’s been fun to talk to you. I know you’re done with the rings but that doesn’t mean we have to be done with each other.

HEPHAESTUS: You’d… Want to be friends?

APHRODITE: If you’d like. I won’t pressure you into it or anything, but, I don’t know, it seemed like maybe you’d be open to the idea?

HEPHAESTUS: I… Yeah. Yeah! I’d lo– like to be friends. This just… usually isn’t how my interactions go. Dionysus and I kind of pack bonded by accident, most other people don’t really want anything to do with me.

APHRODITE: Well, most other people are fools then.

CALLIOPE: It should be noted, listeners, that both goddesses were fairly flushed at this point, and not due to the heat of the forge.

HEPHAESTUS: (amazed) You really think that, don’t you? You really think that people are foolish for not wanting to know me? 

APHRODITE: Yeah, I really do. I mean, you’re fun to talk to and incredibly talented and you don’t give a singular fuck about what anyone on Olympus thinks of you–

HEPHAESTUS: Yes I do. Of course I do, I just… I’ve learned to kind of tune it out. Being a bit of a recluse has its perks (hollow laugh). Sometimes I wish I cared less what the rest of this godsforsaken place thought of me, but I can’t help it. I’m only– well, not human, I guess, since none of us are, but you know what I mean.

APHRODITE: …Yeah. Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. At least your coping methods seem more healthy than marrying your best friend.

HEPHAESTUS: I don’t know, me and Di could still give you and Ares a run for your money.

APHRODITE: (teasing) You would try to upstage the wedding event of the eon?

HEPHAESTUS: (snorting) Is that what they’re calling it? Gods, do these people have nothing better to do than meddle in the lives of people they don’t even know?

APHRODITE: It’s either meddling in our affairs or human affairs and I for one would much rather be meddled with than have to worry about another war breaking out down there. It’s always so stressful for Ares, trying to find a way to create peace when everyone is praying to him for victory.

HEPHAESTUS: A god of war who is against war?

APHRODITE: He’s… Gentler, I think, than most people give him credit for. We’ve all changed over the centuries, so has war. And these changes to war have left Ares wanting peace rather than war, for everyone’s sake.

HEPHAESTUS: He’s a much more complicated man than I gave him credit for.

APHRODITE: Well, don’t give him too much credit. His complexities aren’t that great. He does have a bear, though, so it makes up for the lack of thoughts sometimes.

CALLIOPE: As laughter blooms between our goddesses, it’s time to direct your attention elsewhere. Specifically to tomorrow, where we can find Hermes on Dionysus’s couch, lamenting his time with Ares the day before.

HERMES: He has a bear, Dion.

DIONYSUS: So you said, Hermes.

HERMES: He named it Dipper after the fucking constellation I’m– (muffled scream)

DIONYSUS: You know he doesn’t actually want to marry Aphrodite, right? Like, it’s all a coverup for Zeus. Because we all become a coverup for Zeus at some point in our lives.

HERMES: But he does want to marry her is the thing. Even if he’s moved on from fully romantic feelings for her, he still wants to be with her in any way that he can. I mean, you don’t go through with a wedding when you don’t, at least on some level, want to be married to the person. So even if by some miracle he did like me, it wouldn’t even matter because I’ll never be more to him than she is.

DIONYSUS: Hermes, my friend, I do believe you’re looking at this the wrong way. It’s not about you meaning more to him, it’s about you meaning something different to him. He loves Aph, romantically or otherwise, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t also love you in a different way than he loves her. Even if the two of you are ‘just friends’–  and you know how much I hate that ‘just’ in front of it– you would still mean something to him. Isn’t that enough?

HERMES: …I think spending so much time with Hephaestus has finally made you wise.

DIONYSUS: (laughing) How dare you! I was wise before me and Phae became friends.

HERMES: Seems unlikely to me (laughing) But thank you, Dion. That… I think that was exactly what I needed to hear. Sometimes this whole stupid crush feels absolutely hopeless but… But it doesn’t matter, does it? Because he’s my friend and I still care about him and he still cares about me.

DIONYSUS: Exactly. And you know, the crush isn’t stupid and it might not even be hopeless. But don’t put too much weight on what can or will come of it, alright? Live in the now, rather than in the future. Trying to see into the future will drive you mad, just ask Cassandra.

HERMES: I still can’t believe Apollo did that to that poor woman.

DIONYSUS: I don’t think he can believe he did that either honestly. Sometimes our emotions get away from us for the worst.

HERMES: (teasing) Are you certain being friends with Hephaestus hasn’t made you wiser? The Dionysus I grew up with wouldn’t have had thoughts like this.

DIONYSUS: (trying and failing not to be sincere) She has brought out a lot of the better in me. That’s why we’re friends, after all, just… Just two outcasts who aren’t what everyone thought they were.

HERMES: Wait, Di, I–

DIONYSUS: It’s fine, Hermes. I know you didn’t mean anything by it.

HERMES: No, no it’s not fine. You’re my friend, Dionysus. You’re my friend and what I said hurt you and that’s not fine. I’m sorry, truly.

DIONYSUS: …Thank you. 

HERMES: If I ever say something that bothers you, you can tell me. I don’t want to be another person who puts you down, not when we’re finally friends like we were before. Stars, everything was easier when we were kids, huh.

DIONYSUS: I know, right? None of these big feelings or big problems. Just chasing each other around the fields and trying to scare Aphrodite with worms.

HERMES: Which never worked because worms are the least scary bug.

DIONYSUS: Some worms are scary! Just not earthworms. 

CALLIOPE: Please, dear listeners, do not look up ribbon worms. 

HERMES: I suppose you’re right, anything can be scary. Gods, what were we thinking when we made some of these things?

DIONYSUS: Well in many cases I will assume we weren’t thinking. And when we were, we knew we’d be up here where the scary things can’t get us.

(pause)

Are you feeling any better?

HERMES: (genuine) Yeah. Yeah I am. I think you were right before, calling these ‘big feelings’, but… But I think I can manage them better. Live in the moment and what not. (pause) Thank you, though. For listening. I know that this isn’t usually your kind of thing.

DIONYSUS: It’s not the kind of conversation I’m used to, but it’s not like I have an active vendetta against hearing about people’s love lives. It’s just not for me, you know? And it’s not something that really comes up with Phae since she doesn’t really talk to anyone other than me. But… But it’s kind of nice, honestly, to be trusted with this kind of thing.

HERMES: You are very trustworthy. I can see why Hephaestus turned to you when she left Olympus proper. I’m sure trust was in short supply for her when she decided to leave.

DIONYSUS: Sometimes I worry it still is. This whole thing with the wedding and making the rings, it’s forcing her back into the lives of Olympus even if it isn’t as intense as it was before. I’m not sure that she trusts any of us not to pull her fully back to the limelight.

CALLIOPE: Speaking of the limelight, dear listeners, I think there’s one more conversation that is worth your attention today. We return now to the home of Zeus and Hera who find themselves alone together for the first time in quite a while.

HERA: Are we ever going to talk about it?

ZEUS: Talk about what, Hera?

HERA: Hmm, I don’t know. The affairs, the black eye you came home with, the wedding that you are forcing down Olympus’s throat. Maybe any of that?

ZEUS: (sighing) What do you want me to say, Hera? That I’m sorry? That I won’t do it again? At the very least you should be happy I haven’t been lying to you this entire time. I’ve done a lot of things, but I’ve never lied to you.

HERA: Oh and I should be grateful for that, should I? I should be grateful that the man who I used to love more than anything else in this world, the man who I believed loved me more than anything else in this world, has cheated on me with half of Olympus but at least he never lied about it! Because gods forbid I have higher standards than never being lied to! 

ZEUS: I don’t know what you want from me!

HERA: I just want to understand why! What did I do, Zeus? What could I possibly have done to deserve this?

ZEUS: …The black eye is from Ares. Apparently I struck a bit of a nerve in how I was speaking about him.

HERA: You can’t just ignore my question, Zeus.

ZEUS: (ignoring her question) And the wedding is for your benefit as much as it is for mine. I know you see what they say about you in the papers. I know that you hate it just as much as I hate my own name being dragged through the mud by people who don’t know what they’re talking about.

HERA: Except they do know what they’re talking about with you. 

ZEUS: That’s not fair–

HERA: Don’t you fucking talk to me about fair! Not when you won’t even tell me why! You never lied, Zeus, but that doesn’t mean you have ever told the truth. 

ZEUS: I’m going to take a walk.

HERA: (angry laughter) Sure. You go do that. King of the gods, too afraid of his wife and a little confrontation. Too stuck up his own ass to realize when he’s the villain of the story.

ZEUS: I am not– (deep sigh) Goodnight, Hera.

HERA: Oh, fuck you.

(door closes)

(soft knock)

HERA: It’s open.

ARES: Hey, Hera. I’m sorry to bother you at this time of night but– (pause) Are you okay?

HERA: I don’t know that I’ve ever been okay, Ares. What can I do for you, though?

ARES: Hera–

HERA: Please, Ares. Just… What can I do for you?

ARES: The wedding is coming up soon and I um. I need to write my vows? I would’ve asked Apollo but what does he know about love and marriage, right? And I– I know that your marriage isn’t the best, but it’s still your domain so I thought… I should go.

HERA: No! No, stay, I… This is a very welcome distraction. Come on, I’ll put the kettle on and we can start working on a draft.

CALLIOPE: And that, dear listeners, is where we shall leave it for today. You didn’t really think I would spoil Ares’ vows before the wedding, did you? No, for that you’ll have to wait and see what the wedding has in store for everyone. Until next time, and as always, thank you for listening.